Releasing All

A prayer of declaration from my solitude retreat, January 14, 2014:

 toucan     palma    colibri

If I lose everything that I currently have – my husband, our children, the Ranch, our spiritual community, my health, the ability to walk or talk, my money, my reputation, my friends, I am fine; I am letting go of everything, in this moment, forever. I am letting go of any worry I have about our finances, my role as a wife, the future of the Ranch, the spiritual growth of our children and their purposes as adults, the lives and souls of my students, all of the pains and injustices of the world, all the lost people. I cannot change the world; I cannot save it – only You can, and if You use me in any small way, from the depths of my heart I will rejoice for having been used by the King. I am letting go of any desire for control, for power, for autonomy, for recognition, or a position of leadership and influence. If I lose everything in this world, I am fine. Moreover, I am considering that I have already lost everything, that nothing belongs to me, nobody owes me, I do not deserve anything. If one day I wake up and everything that I used to have has been taken away from me, I will continue onward – perhaps poor, miserable from the point of view of this world, a failure, starting over – but with joy in my heart, knowing that I have not lost the hidden treasure, You, Christ. Help me, Lord, to live like this – completely liberated from the worries that used to torment me. Nothing is mine, and if I lose everything, I will consider it a great privilege to have had those experiences and the company of those people during the time that You permitted. Only You are my treasure, my everything, and nobody can take that away. Liberate me from my worries, from the nightmares I experience about the injustices of the world and all the lost people, the groans of a hurting world, and help me to trust completely in You. Give me peace and rest. I am letting go of everything.

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