Category Archives: Teaching

Sex Education: Early and Ongoing

So Friday afternoon as I was cutting my seven-year-old son’s hair on our porch, he looked over at our year-old female German Shepherd dog and casually asked, “What’s happening to her right now happens to you, too, every month, right, Mom?”

Oddly enough, the question didn’t surprise me because he has asked it before, and we’ve held an open, on-going discussion about menstruation ever since.

Leaning into whatever ounce of wisdom God has granted me, I began to respond, this time with more detail than before: “Yeah, that’s right. It’s because all females – human and animal – pass through a similar process because we’re capable of producing new life. It’s not a problem and it’s not something bad. It’s because we’re female, and God has designed us to hold new life within us. Someday when you’re a little bit bigger, I’ll go into more details.”

He sat still as I continued clipping his hair into a perfect buzz cut. A few silent seconds passed by, and he seemed content with my answer but willing and eager to accept more, so I thought Why not today? and gently pressed onward.

“Well, the reason behind menstruation is that what comes out is what would have gone to feed the baby and help it grow were the woman or female animal to be pregnant. But if she’s not pregnant, her body doesn’t need the fluids to make the baby grow because there isn’t one, so her body gets rid of them.” Gleny, Jason’s ten-year-old sister who was playing nearby on the porch, began to inch over on a little four-wheel donkey toy to hear the juicy details Mom was sharing.

“For example, someday if I get pregnant, I won’t have menstruation for the nine months that the baby is growing in me, because the baby will use those fluids to grow.” With that his eyes shot upward to make eye contact with mine as if caught off guard by this new information.

“So Aunt Aracely doesn’t have menstruation right now?” He immediately made the connection between this newfound realization and the fact that a married member of our faith community is pregnant.

“Yeah, that’s right.” I began trimming over his ears as he continued sitting impressively still under my bed-sheet hair-cutting cape with a clothespin to hold it shut at the base of his neck.

“Also, your elder sister Diana already has this happen to her every month because her body is changing and she’s becoming a woman. I think mine came for the first time when I was 12 or 13. I used to get kind of grossed out or embarrassed and didn’t want to talk about it, but there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s normal.” I tried not to laugh out loud with the scissors in my hand and two pairs of eyes glued to me as my mind darted involuntarily to the first time my mom gave me the facts of life when I was nine years old. After bringing me into the know about menstruation and sex with a lot of love and wisdom, I looked at her, horrified, and asked in a shaky voice, “And you and Dad do that?” When she assured me that, yes, they did, I said, “Don’t even look at me” and shut down on the topic for several years.

I then carefully addressed the fact that some women cannot get pregnant, and that this can be a cause of great sadness. It’s no one’s fault; it’s just something that sometimes happens. Both of my listeners seemed genuinely sad, and then I added, “But God gives us many different ways to cultivate life and raise children. Some women get pregnant and raise their own biological children; others raise children that God brings to them through other circumstances.” They both seemed content, and all three of us exchanged sincere comments on the subject.

Realizing that we travelled long and far from my second-grade son’s simple question about our dog in heat, I smiled and said, “Do you have any more questions, or does all of that make pretty good sense?”

He smiled a toothy, contented grin as I squatted down in front of him, eye-level, and he said, “It makes pretty good sense.”

Do You Think God Can Utilize Someone Like You?

The following are some written responses from the children in my Gifted and Talented program to the question ¨Do you think God can utilize someone like you?¨

 

I don’t know. Only He knows because I have made a lot of mistakes. I hope He forgives me. – Boy, age 10

Yes, in a big way I want to preach the Word to children, and I want to be a good servant of God, and study a lot to be a doctor and save many lives. – Girl, age 10

I think God could use me, well everyone, because He can change people. – Girl, age 12

He is God but does not abuse His power. That is why He utilizes people for the good. – Boy, age 11

As for me, I would like for God to utilize me to teach His word to other children, Who He was and that He is our salvation. That He is the most important, and if it weren’t for Him we wouldn’t match the design He has for our life…That His word is mega important in everything. That He gives everybody the same importance – for Him, color, race and culture are not important…That He gave His life and Son to us…and we despised Him and at the same time we sin against Him and against our loved ones. – Boy, age 10

I believe that God can use my life but I still have not discovered what for. – Boy, age 11

I know that God can use me because He already is. – Girl, age 14

Maybe, if I keep growing in wisdom like Him, going to church, reading the Bible, etc. And if I keep respecting Him. – Girl, age 10

I would say so because He created us and it was Him who gave us life. – Boy, age 10

 

“For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” – Ephesians 2:10

Fool!

I weaved in and around the kids in my Gifted and Talented program as they sat on the school’s tile floor in our quiet upstairs room where we meet every Friday, each one answering in their notebook the day’s free-writing question.

“Jesus says that if we pay attention to His teachings and put them into practice, we are wise. But He says that if we hear the teachings and do not put them into practice, we are fools. The only difference between being wise and being a fool is putting it into practice. “ Suddenly, without planning on it, I blurted out, “So many times I am a fool!”

One fourth-grade boy who is new to the program snapped his attention from his notebook up to me, eyes unusually wide, probably thinking Is the teacher really calling herself a fool?

I look down at him with a wide grin and said emphatically, “Yeah!” as if to answer his unspoken question. “Jesus says ‘Do not worry’, and yet so many times there I am, worrying about something. In those moments I’m a fool! I know very well what His teaching says, but I fail to put it into practice!” The realization of just how foolish I tend to be hit me rather unexpectedly as I stepped carefully over the legs of another student sprawled out on his stomach, elbows propping him up as he wrote with a wooden pencil in his bright yellow notebook.

“He says to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us, but so many times I don’t. What a fool I can be! Knowing God’s word is not good enough – you have to put it into practice or you’re just another fool!”

Today’s prompt for the allotted free-writing time was: Jesus says that we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. What do you think of that? Do you have enemies or people that persecute you, make fun of you, or treat you poorly? How can you put into practice Jesus’ words to love your enemies?

By now I was on my soap box, talking more to my own foolish soul than any young student in particular. I walked around the extremely quiet room, bare of furniture except for an oversized dry-erase board at the front filled chaotically with the day’s schedule, different thoughts, arrows, and writing prompts. “There are a ton of people out there who know the entire bible, but don’t put anything into practice. Fools! You can go to church everyday and know every last detail about Christ, but if you don’t put it into practice, it’d be better to just stay at home and watch television.” A sixth-grade girl whom I have known for three years and attended my wedding made eye contact with me and we both laughed.

I continued my excited speech, propelled onward after remembering the saddening journal entry of a smart young girl in the program. The prior week as I sat on the school’s playground after school revising her journal entry about the injustice in the world that makes her mad, she went on a long written tirade against idolatry, writing about how outrageous it is that so many people do things against God, sprinkling her writing with various distinctly biblical terms. Unfortunately, while reading her entry, I overheard her at a nearby table ferociously back-stabbing a classmate of hers. Poor fool.

“I don’t care if you can quote the bible – good for you! Do you actually live it? It’s not enough to ‘know’ that Jesus said ‘Love your enemies’ unless you actually do it, so think about if you have enemies. Is your dad a drunkard? Did your mom abandon you? Do the kids in your class bully you? Do you have a neighbor who mistreats you? How can you love that person, or at least pray for them? Write!”

The children continued in a joyful silence as they filled a couple more pages in their journals, the contents of which I would read and re-read during the coming week, enthusiastically marking them up with ideas, comments, and Bible verses to help guide them along.

You may think I know Jesus said not to kill or steal, and I’ve definitely put that into practice. I’m a good person. But, do you lust? Do I love money? Do we become anxious about what will happen tomorrow or in 16 years? Is there anyone you have yet to forgive? Do I love my own life more than I love Christ? Who have you judged? How many times have we been disobedient to the Living God for love of our own twisted egos? Do you rush to help when you see someone in need? Is my gaze fixed more on this current world than the one to come?

According to Jesus, the only difference between being wise and being a fool is whether or not you put into practice what you know of God’s word.

 

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock…But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.” – Matthew 7:24,26

2014 in Review (An Unorganized List of 64 Small Miracles)

Yesterday afternoon as the kids were in paint class and Darwin was resting in our room after a very busy week, I took a walk around our property, studying the visible differences of what this past year has brought –our faithful garden with its new sprouts of radish and squash that Darwin and the kids planted, the ducks who now inhabit our chicken run, our school building finally organized, certain rooms freshly painted – and caught off guard with a deep awe of all God has done in this past year that isn’t so visible – the emotional growth and health of the children, my own healing from severe insomnia, new relationships formed, prayers answered. After the dogs happily followed me around our yard, tails in a constant lazy wag as I admired all God has done this year, I sat down at the wooden table in our living room to make a list of all I could think of that He has orchestrated, permitted, given and guided in this past year. I started with a single sheet of notebook paper but soon had to bring a second and then a third sheet. The list, without any order or importance, is as follows…

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1. Many local boys have received haircuts in our home, and in the process I’ve gotten pretty good at doing the mohawk.

2. Due to God’s abundant provision, we have been able to joyously be His “middle-men” in sharing clothes, backpacks, food, and other goods with our neighbors for His glory.

3. Darwin, the children and I attended a week-long intensive missions course with our faith community to prepare us for a mission trip that we are planning for January 2015 to a village in southern Honduras.

4. We survived several robberies, difficulties, and encounters with corrupt people (including a very dangerous fraud).

5. After much deliberation, we finally purchased a gun for security purposes (and had to use it shoot-in-the-air-style-to-scare-the-burglar the day after we learned how to use it!)

6. The message of Christ has been shared in local churches, on public buses, in a school, at a used clothing shop, in Darwin’s sister’s home, and in various other places as God presents opportunities.

7. We have developed a very friendly relationship with our elderly neighbor who has a large herd of milking cows, and our large grassy property has been utilized to feed his grazers several times per week.

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8. We said “yes” and actively followed four different leads in order to receive more children into our family, but none of them produced results, so we continue to wait for God’s timing.

9. Darwin and I have been able to dedicate ourselves to God’s purposes in our home/family/farm/mission six days per week (we each spend one day per week as teachers at a local school).

10. Relationships have been formed with Brayan, his stepmother and three stepbrothers.

11. By God’s grace He enabled us to have kids in our home for the duration of the calendar year.

12. Peace has been poured out over our home and in the children’s hearts after months of very intense emotional waves, spiritual battles, disciplinary struggles and outbursts of all types.

13. Our living room, the kids’ bathroom, and the schoolroom were painted.

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14. The four kids received homeschool classes along with private academic tutoring.

15. Many, many mistakes have been made and learned from.

16. The four kids received therapy with a Christian psychologist for several months.

17. Our used truck was purchased (and Darwin got his driver’s license for the first time!)

2014-518. High-security steel doors have been installed on the two houses and school building.

19. We have instituted the (very small and indescript) whiteboard in our living room where I write the next day’s schedule in great detail each night so that I don’t have to answer 84 questions about what we’re going to do tomorrow.

20. Four dogs have been purchased/adopted for security purposes (and therapy with the kids!)

2014-721. Two batches of chicks were born in our chicken run and hundreds of eggs laid.

22. Twelve ducks were purchased to lay eggs in our chicken run.

23. We enjoyed the visit of eight fellow believers in our home for several days in July.

24. Fifty rhambutan saplings have been planted.

25. Darwin and the kids have maintained a small garden behind our kitchen weekly.

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26. Darwin and our accountant organized and submitted the last four years of financial statements.

27. Many, many hours have been spent on the preparation of legal documents, in meetings with the board of directors and with lawyers, and making trips to and from different offices.

28. A daily system of cleaning/chores has been put into practice for the kids and adults.

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29. Hundreds of man-hours have been spent preparing the land and cultivating small gardens without extremely little success due to infertile, rocky soil and long dry spells.

30. We’ve enjoyed a full year of growth and relationship with our dear sister Jenae Matikke, who lives alongside of us, raises the kids with us and serves in our local community.

31. A large steel trashcan has been constructed behind our property to deposit our trash.

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32. We’ve been able to continue developing and deepening our relationship with our faith community and mentors, visiting their home weekly.

33. We’re at three months and counting of the children taking a high-quality B-complex vitamin daily to help with their overall growth and mental activity –  (and it’s working!)

34. Our kids have enjoyed one full year of weekly paint, music, agriculture and Bible classes.

35. Two public music concerts have been held in our home for our neighbors and friends.

36. Darwin has formed a youth choir as a way of reaching out to local kids and forming relationships with our neighbors.

37. Our little plants produced harvests of plantains, a rare fruit called guanabana that tastes like cotton candy and looks like a very squishy white pineapple, mango, yucca, lemon, radish, chili peppers, cucumber and papaya.

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38. Darwin and our eldest daughter, Diana, have begun taking weekly English classes.

39. Relationships and trust have been formed with local business owners.

40. We have begun teaching the kids biblically-based financial education to accompany their small incomes for household chores.

41. Various visitors have been received in our home, thus providing all of us with many opportunities to offer hospitality and learn from and love those who stay with us.

42. Our first long-distance family trip is planned for the last two days of this year to visit Honduras’ biggest and perhaps only zoo in a town several hours away.

43. The Living Waters Ranch’s mission statement has been written.

44. We’ve formed a weekly Bible study every Wednesday morning where we dedicate time to growing spiritually as a family/community and giving thanks.

45. Sexual education has been given to our kids/teenagers several times and in many different forms.

46. I’ve received ten months and counting of medical treatment for my insomnia, and the larger part of recovery has been achieved.

47. Our kids have learned how to swim and play chess.

48. God’s provision and protection have been with us daily.

49. After much trial and error and team brainstorming, we were able to make the decision of how to use each of the three “houses” on our property most efficiently.

50. The “School House”, the second of the three houses, has been furnished and put into use for homeschooling, music classes, and for receiving neighbor kids in the large living room that serves as a play room.

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51. The question of maintaining our (extremely large, rocky, and uneven) yard trim has been settled by hiring a local man to weedeat it once a month. (We used to have a full-time employee who dedicated the majority of his time to cutting our lawn bent-over with his machete, but he could only cut a piece the size of about two backyard swimming pools per day, and the job was never done and thus our yard always looked like someone with long, untamed hair who took a buzz-cutter to a few sections here and there, thus the poisonous snakes had a heyday.)

52. The office has been put together and Darwin constructed bookshelves for our library.

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53. Friendships have been formed with a handful of children and teenagers from our local community who come to our home to play soccer, work in agriculture, receive sex education classes, spend time in our playroom, and attend Bible study.

54. Our four kids gave their lives to Christ.

55. Darwin and I attended Honduras’ “Children’s Home Conference” in May to learn from others who serve in the same capacity.

56. We have begun developing relationships with various neighbors, visiting them in their homes and likewise opening our home to them.

57. Darwin and I celebrated our year-and-a-half anniversary December 24, 2014.

58. Darwin and I enjoyed three marriage retreats to escape from the kids for a few nights and focus on cultivating our still very-new marriage.

59. New telephone poles have been put up and electrical lights repaired.

60. We have sanded and painted the steel window bars on the houses, dining room and kitchen to save them from rusting.

61. We have achieved much better organizational structure and financial accounting as a registered Honduran NGO.

62. Official schedule, menu, and budget have been made for legal purposes.

63. Our eldest daughter has begun to sell her paintings.

64. God has cultivated a very pleasing attitude of love and respect in our children towards Himself and others.

Even for Just One

One by one the majority of the students in my fourth-sixth grade Gifted and Talented program at the local school where I taught full-time last year and continue part-time this year came in as I was setting up for our usual Friday afternoon class to tell me, “Miss Jennifer, I won’t be coming to class today.” Their reasons seemed legitimate as they told me of the school-wide science fair and how they either had a competing project or wanted to see their classmates’ creations, and I thanked each child sincerely for having the respect to come and let me know that I should not expect them that afternoon although I was slightly disappointed with the news of the science fair’s conflicting schedule with my class.

But in my heart I rejoiced, thinking Yes, I can just cancel the class due to low attendance and spend time resting, reading my Bible, preparing for the coming week, and getting ready for the girls’ basketball practice that will begin in a few hours. I had spent a week in a warzone between our four children who are all struggling with the adjustment of having a new sibling, plus the continuing adjustment of dealing with their pasts, being in a new homeschooling program, accepting Darwin and I as parents, etc. The week had been filled with bouts of jealousy, various children declaring that they felt unloved or outright accusing us of favoring one child over another, the children forming teams against one another, feeling as though they need to struggle or compete to earn their spot in the family or classroom, playing the victim, and putting others down to feel better about themselves. Every day it seemed like each child had at least one eruption or shut-down, and our week was filled with stress, long prayers, varying punishments, discussion upon discussion about what it means to show the love of God to others, and so forth. I just wanted to collapse from mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual exhaustion, and I thought What an unexpected gift that I won’t have to teach today –

And then in came one of my eager fourth-grade students, and with a fake smile on my face I anticipated his science-fair excuse and cut him off, “Oh, it’s okay, I know there’s the science fair. Go enjoy it and we’ll just wait to have class until next week.” And somehow my exhausted cheek muscles forced out a reassuring smile, expecting him to accept my proposition as valid and leave.

“No!” And his face dropped, “I really want to have the class this afternoon…” and he looked confused about why I was considering canceling.

And I thought Dang it, why doesn’t he just go to the science fair? Doesn’t he realize I’m on the brink of some kind of breakdown?

I then asked tiredly if it would just be him or if others were also planning on attending our class, and he confirmed that there was at least one or two others who had said they would arrive.  I thought, trying desperately to justify myself in canceling the class, If there are just two or three kids – when there are nearly twenty enrolled in the program – it’s not worth it. It’s better just to wait until next week when we’ll have full attendance.

Then, as has happened so many times, Jesus’ words cut to my core “Even if there were just one person — one sinner — in the whole world, I still would have died for that person. Even for just one. Numbers don’t matter. Look at this eager little boy and accept him as I would – invite him in and teach him of Me and my ways. He matters to me. As I said to my Father in anguish before dying on the cross, have Your will be done, not mine.”

Then, even with rebellion – I might even call it self-defense – crying out in my heart, I told him that, yes, we would have class because numbers don’t matter, and in my heart I knew that having the class would be a submission of my will to God’s. His eyes immediately lit up, and he left the room and began shouting loudly to his comrades, “Let’s go! It’s time for Miss Jennifer’s class!” And I laughed and quickly stumble-ran out of the room to the school’s balcony where he stood to tell him to stop shouting because class wasn’t scheduled to start for twenty more minutes and, as he and my other students know, I am allergic to unneeded noise.

His eager little face then appeared periodically in my window over those next twenty minutes as he squinted to see the agenda I was scribbling on the whiteboard and to catch a glimpse of the learning materials I was preparing for them. My rebellious heart broke and I thanked God for having guided me into loving obedience.

That day five enthusiastic fourth-graders arrived in my classroom and we had an incredibly fruitful time that began with an in-depth reading of the words of Saint James: Religion that is pure and faultless in God’s eyes is this: to take care of widows and orphans in their distress and to keep oneself clean from the corruption of the world. From there each of us – myself included – spent about twenty minutes drawing what that means – not only the aspect of helping those in distress, but what it means to keep oneself pure from all of the destruction and sin in our world – be it pride, love of money, hatred, materialism, lies, sexual impurity, etc. We then continued on with a writing exercise in their journals with a given open-ended prompt, followed by an exercise I have invented called Rapid Math, and finished with a logic game, all interspersed with dynamic dialogue about what it means to know and follow the True God.

Throughout my two-hour time with my students, I recalled my husband Darwin’s words that he spoke at his cousin’s home recently. His cousin, who is married, in his late fourties, and a very wealthy businessman, had asked Darwin sincerely about the life of Teresa Devlin, the elderly missionary under whom Darwin worked and was mentored by at La Ceiba’s Music Conservatory for over ten years. Darwin answered sincerely, “She spoke frequently and sincerely of Christ as she ran the Music Conservatory, but the majority of the students and teachers received the message of Jesus with deaf ears. I heard the message and was saved. Basically I am the product of her 15 years in Honduras, and her mission was fulfilled through my life.” I remember looking at my husband in a new way – and not only him but also the life of Teresa Devlin and God’s infinite and tireless power – with renewed awe, respect, and determination.

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Even for just one, it is worth it. For one life turned toward Christ – even if it takes several years, frustration and despair over those who are lost, and daily struggle – it is worth it. Even if you or I or someone’s student or your grandchild or that terrible boss were the only human being alive on the face of the earth, Christ would have willingly died for that one person as He did for the multitudes. May we never judge our success, failure, or the value of our efforts on numbers.

“Coach is Allergic to Complaints.”

The girls on my basketball team know very well that their coach is “allergic to complaints.” Last year, our first year together as a team, the girls would often complain of sore muscles or voice their disagreement with difficult drills, push-up competitions and the like. I responded — rather dramatically — by telling them that I have been diagnosed with a severe complaint allergy, so if they want their coach to stay in good health, they’d better maintain their comments to themselves.

This year the veterans on my team of 4th-6th grade girls know that if they complain I will only make the drill longer, increase the number of push-ups, or count slower as they do wall-sits. Recently during our weekly practice one of the girls who is prone to complaining opened her mouth to voice her opinion, and another girl hushed her, saying, “Shh. Coach is allergic to complaints.”

At the end of each practice I have the girls do a series of wind sprints on the school’s old asphalt basketball court. As they run, sometimes up to ten or twelve sprints total, I declare, “I’m testing your character. Let’s see who complains.” They pant and bend over between sprints, but they have finally arrived at the understanding that it is not worth complaining because I will only make it harder — Oh, I do remember the day when my own high school basketball coach yelled, “Run until get tired!”

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As the girls run, one sprint at a time, I say, “Don’t tell me it’s hard. I know this is difficult. Most people in life choose the easiest thing, the path of least resistance, but God’s way, as we are learning, is indeed difficult. Christ says that most people choose the wide, easy road, but the path that reaches His Kingdom is narrow and difficult, and it is the only path that leads to true joy, freedom, and eternal life. Choose the difficult path. Go!” And the girls do another sprint.

Frequently with my basketball girls, gifted and talented classroom students, my own children — really anyone who will listen — I read the following text from the Gospel of Matthew: “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.”

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Recently I had each of my basketball players complete a written evaluation of their experiences on the team, what they have learned, how I can support them personally in this stage of their lives, what their view of God is and if they have the desire to know and follow Him. As I read each evaluation, some written with large letters in pink marker, others with small scribbles in pen, some in broken English, others in Spanish, I almost began weeping and rejoicing as I sat there alone on the empty court after practice, all of the girls having already been picked up by their family members, as literally every evaluation that I read revealed — in their own words — that each girl is truly interested in knowing God more and following Him, that they really are listening when we read Christ’s words each practice and that they are hungry for a deeper understanding. Two of the girls even explicitly mentioned how they want me to guide them so that they may enter through the “narrow, difficult gate” and accomplish hard things for God’s glory.

As you read this, I ask that you would sincerely pray for my basketball girls and for the way that God is using me as an instrument of truth in their lives. Ask that I may be given wisdom in guiding them and that as we study the Bible together before each basketball practice that it is not just me reading dead words from an ancient book, but words of life-giving Truth that touch their spirits. Pray that Christ may call each one of these precious girls into a life of humble service to Him, that they may joyfully enter through the narrow, difficult gate that leads to abundant, eternal life.

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