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“God Lives In My Family”: Reflections From Our Eldest Daughter

March 10, 2017 jenniferzillycanales Leave a comment

A year-and-a-half ago I published a reflection on our very intense, heavily blessed journey with our now-16-year-old daughter Dayana, the eldest of the children we are fostering who we are in the process of legally adopting along with her younger siblings.

Now, nearly four years into our journey with her, I am publishing not my thoughts regarding our relationship but rather hers. Earlier today as I was waist-deep in finishing the process of weeding through the many stapled booklets of our students’ handwritten reflections, seeking small golden nuggets of wisdom and compelling stories — traces of God’s active work in their lives — I found myself fully absorbed by hers. I read and thoroughly enjoyed the 150+ pages of our other students’ journals, but this blog I will dedicate to the developing thoughts of a young woman whom my husband and I treasure more than she will ever know and alongside of whom we have fought tooth and nail for her salvation and transformation.

She is currently one of our top 8th-grade students in our small, discipleship-based homeschool program, and Darwin and I actively serve as her math, English, Bible and music teachers in addition to sharing with her the daily rhythms of family life in a large, mixed household.

The following paragraphs are separate excerpts taken from her 22-page stapled reflection journal written last month.

Dayana with her little biological brother Jason, who has also been living in our family since November 2013.

I give thanks to God because He has given me a big family full of love in Christ. What we do really well in my family is that whenever there is good or bad news to be shared, we communicate well…I consider that God lives in my family. We are all growing in the love and faith of the only King.

I have so many dreams for my life as an adult. I want to earn two college degrees: Architecture and Music. Another dream is that of helping needy people; be a counselor for youth and adults in accordance with God’s Word; raise children who do not have the protection of their [biological] parents; exercise the gifts the Lord has given me; be my children’s teacher and that of others; marry a man who serves Christ; be a writer or poet; write my own music; be a good wife and mom; show God’s love to the world; offer help free of charge to people who need help cleaning and organizing their homes; go to the ends of the earth proclaiming the truth about God; be an art teacher; be fully submitted to God’s will; live in England or Brazil (but now that I think about it, I will need to live fairly close to my parents so that they can take care of their grandchildren when my husband and I go on dates!); acquire love for my enemies…I can achieve these goals, but if they are not used for the good, it is as if they were never achieved. May it be God who guides my future and my dreams. Everything in God’s hands is good.

Knowing God and having a relationship with Him is not only about saying “I’m a Christian,” but about recognizing our sin and repenting with all our heart. I am a human being and fail every day, but I examine myself and repent. I love God and trust Him. He loves us, and we can prove His love because He sent His only Son to die for us. We do not deserve His forgiveness, but He loves us enough to extend His forgiveness to us. He is my everything.

I am studying at the Living Waters Ranch high school by my own free will. I truly want to be prepared to confront all that lies ahead in today’s world…If we look closely at the local public schools [in Honduras], they do not offer an adequate education, whereas here [at home] I do receive one…I am here to grow in God’s will; may God guide me in my learning, and may all that I learn be for His glory and in honor of Him.

A recent experience I’ve learned from was that of Sandra’s escape. Through that situation I’ve learned not to run away when things are difficult; God has not given us a spirit of cowardice. The whole situation was very difficult because I love her as a sister…God did great things [when we went to visit her the night she was found], and He used me in a great way. She talked with me at length, and I counseled her. I give thanks to God because He gave me the right words according to the truth in order to counsel her. If we run away, we are turning our back on God. Anything could have happened to Sandra, but God protected her. God is using the gift of leadership that He’s given me.

…My parents have heavily impacted my life. They have not only been parents but have also been my counselors and teachers. They have shown me their love, something that not all parents do. I have had many struggles, but even so they love me. They correct me; they discipline me; they give me advice; they love me. Each day I am walking with them towards God. They have taught me to not fear in this world, to love others without taking notice of their defects, to walk in the light, to not lie, and to protect myself for my future husband…

My whole family is Christian by God’s grace. The majority of us have been baptized. We have all confessed our sin; we have repented. In other words, my family is worshipping God. Something that I have present in my mind and that we should all have present is that they [my family] are not going to save me when I am standing before God’s throne. Just because my family is Christian does not mean that they respond for me. No; we all have the responsibility to choose whether we follow God or not.

A terribly silly photo my dad took of Darwin and I with our 8 kids when he visited us in January (Sandra was not present at the taking of the photo). What a goofy crowd!

Please continue to pray with us for Dayana’s continued transformation and renewal; may she daily grow in her love of Christ as He continues to liberate her from the many chains of her past. Let us thank God for the powerful testimony He has already begun etching out in her, and may Darwin and I be granted great perseverance, faith and hope as we continue onward in our journey parenting her for God’s good pleasure. Amen!

Family, Living Waters Ranch Secondary School, Personal Reflection, Prayer Requests

Urgent Prayer Request (Sandra’s Disappearance)

January 15, 2017 jenniferzillycanales 2 Comments

We are seeking active prayer on behalf of Sandra, the 16-year-old young woman who lived with us for 8 months in 2016 as Sandra’s mother sought refuge for her daughter from a situation of abuse with the mother’s then-husband, Sandra’s step-father.

Sandra moved back in with her mom, who has been a devout Christian trapped in deep poverty and abusive relationships nearly her whole life, in August. Her mother valiantly left behind the abusive step-father as she took great steps, trusting only in God without even having the tools that most people would consider necessary to start a new life – a job, the ability to read and write, childcare for her three younger children.

God has provided in many different and powerful ways for Sandra’s mom and her family of four children in this past year, and our relationship with her mom (Geraldina) has deepened as she has begun laboring part-time with us at the Living Waters Ranch, participating in prayer meetings with the rest of our team, inviting us to her home for fellowship and holding many personal conversations with Darwin and me as she has actively sought Godly counsel and friendship.

We hold this sweet family very dear to our hearts as they exemplify faith in Christ and total dependence on Him, and we daily admire Geraldina’s bravery as she goes against cultural norms to be a steadfast single mom walking in purity, constantly seeking God’s will for her family despite tremendous odds.

Last night around 11:00pm Geraldina called us in tears as she told us that Sandra had run away from home, leaving a note saying not to look for her. Darwin, our 8 kids and I had all spent time with Sandra earlier that day and she did not show any signs of her plan nor did she communicate anything to us, but last night it came to light that several people knew of her plan but did not think she was serious, therefore committing the grave error of not telling us or Geraldina.

According to those who knew of her plan, she left with a long-distance boyfriend (who she had never met face-to-face) who is a gang member in another part of the country that is about a 4-5 hour-drive’s distance away. In Honduras, droves of young women get lost in this confused search for love and acceptance as they get carried away by violent men and become sex slaves, accomplices to the gang’s Satanic activities or murder victims. This happened about a month ago to another young women we know in our neighborhood. Her parents did not give her permission to have a boyfriend, so an unknown car pulled up in front of their house, she mounted, and the only news they have is that her friends believe she is living in a gang-infested area with other runaways.

At this point we have no information on the whereabouts of Sandra – Darwin left home last night at midnight with our 15-year-old son Brayan to search for her in our small town and console her mother, and he went out again at 5:00am to scour the strip of highway that runs through our small rural town to see if he might find her catching a bus or leaving town. Nothing.

Last night after having received Geraldina’s devastating call we sat in a tight circle on the tile floor in our bedroom as we prayed with our four teen/pre-teen daughters for Sandra. It came to light that Sandra had invited one of our other daughters to escape with her earlier that day, but our daughter had refused to go. We praise and thank God that she had the strength and wisdom to not accompany Sandra down this dangerous path.

Please pray with us that God might illuminate Sandra’s mind so that she might see past any lies of the Enemy to see clearly the decisions she is making – how they are affecting her own health, that of her family and that of her relationship with God. Please pray that she might find a way to escape if she is, in fact, already in a situation of sexual sin or danger and that she may choose to trust in the abundant love that Father God has for her rather than the fleeting, twisted lusts the world offers. Please pray with us for repentance and renewal of her commitment with Christ and that Sandra’s mom (Geraldina) would experience God’s love and compassion during this incredibly difficult time. Thank you.