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Answers to Illegal Immigration to U.S. Borders, Central America, Current World Events, Family, God At Work Among Us, Information About the Mission, Personal Reflection

Two Unexpected Guests

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I sat in the noisy McDonald’s in downtown Tegucigalpa — Honduras’ highly overcrowded capital city — waiting to meet with one prospective lawyer for our kids’ adoption. I had just taken a 7-hour busride from our home on the other side of the country for my whirlwind tour of the capital as I planned to meet with three prospective lawyers in addition to my scheduled appointment at the Foreign Affairs building to renew my Honduran residency.

Wealthy, undisciplined teenagers from a local bilingual school gathered in large groups at the tables all around me, too-loud secular music blasted from the built-in speakers above, and a highly choreographed wrestling match blared behind my head on the flatscreen television on the wall.

I had arrived early as I had taken a taxi directly from the bus station, and the lawyer had instructed me by phone to wait for him at the McDonald’s until he could further instruct me how to arrive at his nearby office.

Thirty minutes or so passed as I read a book at an empty table in the corner. The noises around me raged on. My phone ringed.

I reached for my little black cellphone — one of those with the oldschool keypad that doesn’t have internet, can’t even take pictures and most definitely doesn’t have any “apps” — instinctively thinking it was the lawyer calling to tell me he was close by. Thank goodness; I was ready to get out of the chaos!

My eyes took in the caller identification in one fell swoop as I lifted the device up to my ear. Honduras’ child protective services from our hometown. Not the capital city adoption lawyer.

I answered to the familiar voice of one of the government’s case workers whom we’ve worked closely with in regards to all 8 of our foster children. She along with her co-workers are responsible for placing children in homes/families, doing follow-up, trying to facilitate family reintegration when possible, etc. With the amount of abuse, abandonment and neglect cases in this country paired with the lack of funding and low number of staff on her team, her job is nearly impossible. We oftentimes spend months to years approaching their office for help on certain subjects (like getting official birth certificates for our kids) with little success as the government workers are constantly running around frantically, trying to put out forest fires with a squirt gun and slap band-aids on mortal wounds.

She and I exchanged a genuinely kind greeting over the phone, as this specific government lawyer and I have worked together several years, and she’s taken personal interest in our kids’ stories. The Lord had even led us to pray together in her office on more than one occasion, which is less than common in any country. She asked how our kids were; I said everything was excellent.

Then her question, completely unexpected (as it always is): “Would you be willing to take in two 15-year-old girls?”

Silence.

Then I began to sputter, naming off all the excuses I could think of, “Oh, uh, actually I’m not even at home right now. I won’t be back until Sunday…And my health — my health hasn’t been very strong…” I paused, trying to get my footing. “Um, what’s their story?”

Through a broken cellphone signal — I could catch every three words or so out of five — she began to tell me that they were with a foster mother (at least that’s what I think I heard) but that they were recently moved several hours away to another children’s home. Can’t stay there permanently. Need to finish their public school year at the local high school close to where they had been living, which is in a town next to ours. Would we take them both in for at least 15 days so that they could finish off their school year. After that, one will most likely go to another children’s home where she has younger siblings; the other will most likely remain with us long-term. Yes or no?

They always catch us by surprise with these calls, and my first reaction is to reel off as many excuses (both out loud and to myself) in an attempt to defend ourselves against what just might potentially be God’s will — His mighty plan to rescue one more person from within a yard of hell.

So, I silenced that fear-driven inner voice and told the lawyer that I needed to speak with Darwin first. I would call her the next morning. Naturally, she wanted the answer then and there in order to bring the girls over to our home immediately, but she knows that we don’t operate like that. First we have to pray and consider; then, if the answer is yes, we have to carefully share the news with our kids. New arrivals oftentimes leave in their wake 3-5 months of pretty rough waves in our household as everyone adjusts to having a new sibling, so the news must be tenderly shared and covered in prayer.

She agreed and we hung up. Thoughts rushed my tired mind. The capital city adoption lawyer whom I was waiting for still hadn’t showed up, so I had a few minutes to calmly pray in the most unlikely of places. The teenagers continued to hang all over each other; the music continued at high volume; the wrestlers behind me kept up their nonsensical fighting. I prayed silently, asking God what His will was in this situation.

He didn’t answer immediately, but I did feel at peace (which itself is an answer). I kept praying. That evening — several hours later — after finally meeting with the adoption lawyer and arriving safely to the home where I would be staying in the huge metropolitan city that is so different from our isolated ranch at the base of the mountains 7 hours away, I called Darwin. I honestly expected him to say no — because of my ill health, because we already have so many other commitments, because of 100 legitimate reasons that any sane person wouldn’t want to blindly accept two teenage girls into their home — but he very calmly listened to the details as I presented them to him, and he said yes. And even as the yes left his lips, my heart rested in that yes and even clicked its heels for joy.

And so, we hung up the phone and I lay on that antique floral-print bedspread in an upstairs room of the missionary’s home I was staying in, and I laughed to myself. My eyes traced along the ceiling as I recalled all of my “excuses” no longer as reasons to say no or to feel scared but rather as the parameters for just one more miracle that God is setting up. He’s the God of the impossible, you see, and lately I’ve been learning that He loves impossible situations where human logic fails, where mortal strength is insufficient and where He can put on grand display His power.

Two unknown teenage girls? They might arrive on our doorstep pregnant for all we knew. After all, no one in their right mind — in any country! — blindly accepts two suffering adolescents who have very likely never had a stable home to lock arms with and live alongside of for the indefinite future. They probably lie and steal and are prone to sexual promiscuity. The government most certainly wouldn’t be providing us with any family background studies, psychological evaluations, behavior information, etc. They may not even have birth certificates or know their real ages. Ha! Surely we have lost our minds and are free-falling into yet one more impossible situation that God will turn into a miracle of grace. My socked feet tapped back in forth in the air as I laid spread out, considering the impossible.

And the craziest thing of all — perhaps the true mark that this is all of God even if it all falls through and turned out to be merely a test of faith — is that I’m at peace. Darwin’s at peace. We are so completely convinced that God is with and for us and that His heart is big enough to include these two girls into His plan of eternal redemption and that He’ll even give us all the resources and emotional reserves necessary to effectively minister to them, Christ acting in us toward them.

And so, I’ve now been back in Honduras exactly two weeks after my six-week-long stay in Texas to seek urgent medical help for my chronic insomnia and extremely low immune system. I’m still on the strict regimen, still taking everything the doctors prescribed, and my sleep is currently at 2-5 hours per night, which is a drastic improvement from times prior although there is still a long ways to go. Everyone in our home and school has gotten pink eye in the last few weeks, but I didn’t. And even on the nights when I’m up for good at midnight or toss and turn all night without success, I’m no longer led to anxiousness or stress. Our eldest daughter commented to me not two days ago that she’s noticed a marked difference in my overall attitude since coming back home. Even though I’m still not sleeping like a normal person, she says she can see that I have joy. That is God’s hand over me.

And so, I humbly (and excitedly) ask for prayer as we are preparing to receive these two young ladies on Monday morning. They called yesterday with the proposal; I returned the call this morning with our ‘yes’ answer; and I return home to the Honduran north coast on Sunday from Tegucigalpa where I am currently dealing with several legal matters. Please pray specifically for our 8 kids who already live with us, as I mentioned above that whenever we receive someone new into the family, a long adjustment period oftentimes follows as the totem pole gets shaken up, new friendships are formed, and everyone sort of feels out their role in the family all over again. This can be a scary process for our kids, all of whom have been rejected by their own biological families, so please pray that they may be granted God’s sight to see this situation and may truly receive these two new young women (I don’t even know their names!) with love and grace rather than feeling intimidated by them. Pray also for our 16-year-old son Brayan, that he may receive them with purity of heart and that he may respect them as he does our other daughters. Pray also for Darwin and I as many long family discussions, prayer times, conflict resolutions, etc, will be in order as we enter the adjustment period (and the additional emotional energy that will be required of us as we seek to love and know these two new young women). And, above and beyond everything else, pray with us that God would go before us in all this, preparing the way and the hearts of each person involved, and that His perfect will would be done as only He can orchestrate. May He give us the patience, time, love, etc that we lack in order to receive these women as He would receive them. Amen! Glory to God!

Child/Youth Leadershp, Community Life, Family, God At Work Among Us, Information About the Mission, Living Waters Ranch Primary School, Living Waters Ranch Secondary School, Personal Reflection, Special Needs Kids

Against All Odds: Carrying a Load Full of Joy

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This past Saturday our rickety 2001 cab-and-a-half truck carried a few additional rabble-rousers in its precious load as it went rumbling up that long gravel mountain road to our mentors’ home.

We were headed to our faith community’s annual 2-mile road race, and five of our students/choir members were invited for the special 2-day event. (Organized road races or almost any other kind of healthy, fun activity very rarely occur in our part of the world, so when they do it’s a really big deal.)

We would be spending the night in a cabin — Darwin and I and 12 wily youth — on our mentors’ property so we could also attend the weekly Discipleship Group that would be held the following morning.

Everyone’s arms and backpacks were filled with pillows, blankets, Bibles, a change of clothes, and toothbrushes (well, I think some of the kids forgot those…) as everyone squeezed in for the journey. (Of course, our car has held up to 20-25 people on certain choir trips, but this load of 14 was nonetheless interesting due to the additional luggage each person brought.)

So our car faithfully made the hour-and-fifteen-minute trip from our rural property through the city of La Ceiba and up a remote mountain road as faces poked out windows and people sat perilously perched on backpacks. Watch out for the potholes!  

I had honestly felt quite anxious about the trip, dogged by a sense of dread about inviting five teen boys to accompany our family on an overnight trip — those same boys that our daughters have had crushes on at different times! Red alert!

But, remembering the scripture we have been studying for quite some time as a family/community (Philippians 4:4-7), I very intentionally began waging war against that astute opponent named Worry, pleading God to replace my anxiety with Christ’s perfect peace. I desired to trust God rather than cling to my own illusion of control, so I prayed vigorously for our potentially precarious situation, that God would be glorified in everyone’s behavior and attitudes (even in mine).

May You protect the youth from any flirting or inappropriate behavior, and may You protect me from falling prey to Worry. May we all draw nearer to You during this trip, Jesus, and may Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Amen.

As we jostled up the pot-hole-splattered road I continued to pray silently as I fought diligently to shake Worry from where it perched on my shoulder, snarling and extending its long claws toward my neck.

I remembered: Rather than worry, pray. Place all your concerns on Christ, for He cares for us. Rejoice in Father God at all times, giving Him thanks in every situation.

We had, after all, talked extensively with our kids — especially our girls — about behavior expectations prior to embarking on the journey, and everyone knew they had to stay together as a group with Darwin and I, so I finally just let loose and dared to trust God.

I slowly felt the Christ’s unexplainable peace overcome my petty grasp at control as He shooed away Worry.

Released from those claws that had so adeptly inched toward my neck only moments prior, my body suddenly skipped from dread to an electrified sense of newfound glee — a God-given ecstasy that is granted even in the most unexpected of circumstances.

I glanced over at Darwin, who this time found himself in the passenger’s seat. My eyes lit up with mischief as I thrust the steering wheel to the left and then suddenly to the right, propelling the car in a wild zig-zag pattern up that long, empty road as the kids squealed with delight and everyone hung on for dear life, hair flying and backpacks sliding everywhere. I threw my head back and laughed as Darwin stared at me disapprovingly after having just eaten his lunch and suddenly feeling nauseous.

Mustering a benign scold as the car continued onward in its rambunctious zig-zag, he advised: “With so many kids in the back, I sure hope they don’t whack their heads…”

My whole body now rejoicing in an all-consuming grin, I reeled with increasing laughter: “Nonsense! They love when I do this…”

As knuckles turned pale, grasping desperately at the car’s slippery surface and young throats let out joyous whoops, we finally came to an (intentionally) abrupt stop along the road. It was time to take pictures!

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Ten of the youth participated in the road race in addition to Darwin and I, and — Praise God! — the two-day event proved fruitful and blessed.

Everyone’s behavior was exemplary — our young male students behaved as perfect gentlemen, lovingly submitting themselves to our authority, and our girls shone brightly with God’s glory as they put into practice appropriate social norms as they interacted wisely with the opposite sex. (Oh, this has been a long and gruesome battle to recapture innocence, to submit to a pure God in a culture so stained by sexual sin, abuse and trickery! Through tears we thank Him for these small — huge! — steps of progress, of prayers answered and lives being liberated from Satan’s grasp.)

Saturday evening as we sat around the (very) long wooden table in our mentors’ rustic dining room, I was taken aback, suddenly caught up in awe. I looked across the table.

There sat Darwin enjoying his dinner and engaging in joyful conversation, surrounded by those same five young men whom I didn’t want to invite. I studied their faces, aglow with life, with innocence, that too many youth here rarely — if ever — experience.

Too many young men in this country (world?) experience deadening boredom, terrible deeds cloaked in darkness, paralyzing shame, utter purposelessness. But joy? What young men actually dare to seek true joy in the Living God?

 Those who trust they will find it, find Him.

 I carefully allowed the moment to ingrain itself in my memory, receiving it as if it were a portrait of God’s active, redeeming work in the world, His daring rescue mission on enemy territory.

I studied Exson, this 18-year-old who can barely read, he who since becoming our student in our discipleship-based 7th-grade program in February of this year has very quickly (and unexpectedly) become like an extended member of our family. He who only a few days prior stayed after class with his 14-year-old sister Messy (who is also in our program, pictured to the right) to talk with me, both sharing through sincere emotion how much God is touching their lives, transforming them. This same young man who very easily could have fallen into those murderous gangs that so many local young men his age have fallen into, but — by divine grace — has rather fallen into the trap of God’s love.

Yes, it scares me silly to include an 18-year-old young man who has only been deeply exposed to God’s Word in the last several months and who is still on the verge of making a decision for Christ in the same family outing with our daughters, but is this not God’s radical plan? To come for the sick, the lost, to set up a rescue shop within a yard of hell? (See: A Rescue Shop Within a Yard of Hell  and By God’s Design: Zebras in Honduras)

Oh, how many times have I resisted Christ’s command to love boundlessly – how meticulously have I set up those strict, self-protecting barrier lines! You can come to this certain point, and then you’ll come no further. We receive you in our home all week long, but our weekends will be spent exclusively on those 7, 8, 9 who call us ‘Ma’ and ‘Pa’. You’ve reached your limit! No more grace!

And how many times has my Father lovingly said, “Jennifer, My will goes beyond your comfort zone. When you are weak – tired, spent – I am strong. Receive these boys — speak to them of Me, show them a more excellent way – even when it doesn’t fit comfortably in your agenda. The manmade boundaries of ‘personal time’ have no meaning in my Kingdom. My extravagant love for humanity culminated in my own gruesome death, and I’ve called you to follow Me in the same way. Die so that you may live, so that My love may be made known to all mankind.”

My eyes traced the lit-up faces of the other young men, two of which have wholeheartedly received the Gospel and three of which are constantly infiltrated by the good news of Jesus, exposed to the Truth of the Kingdom. It’s only a matter of time.

These young men — some of whom live in shanties with many malnourished family members, others who not two years ago did not know the alphabet. Others who have stolen from us, been led to ask forgiveness, start anew. Several of whom have stormed off our property, frustrated by the strict discipline, the command to love, swearing they would never come back.

But there they were.

Against all odds — even against my own will! — there they were, populating the long wooden table that does not typically have a seat reserved for them. Surely God is doing something in them, in me.

Around 8:30pm after engaging in riotous competitions — push-ups, planks, leg-lifts, etc — we all headed to the primitive cabin we would be staying in. Darwin and I with our 7 kids in one section, our 5 neighbor-student boys in a separate part.

As I moved quietly about in the dim room, illuminating the simple space with my headlamp as I searched for my toothbrush, I heard Brayan’s low voice softly permeating the wall that separated us. Against all odds (alas, that is a phrase that seems to be used in our daily vocabulary!), Brayan was leading the other young men as they sought to memorize the Bible verses for the next morning.

“Be full of joy in the Lord always. I will say again, be full of joy.” After Brayan’s voice I heard other, quieter voices, echoing the same. A unanimous call to joy in the Living God, that joy that the world cannot strip from us.

I smiled as his gravelly voice floated toward me. It was the same verse the Lord used to rescue me earlier that day from those long fingers of Worry that threatened to choke me.

He continued, oblivious to the fact that I could hear him, seeking to impress no one but his Father: “Let all men see that you are gentle and kind. The Lord is coming soon. Do not worry about anything. But pray and ask God for everything you need. And when you pray, always give thanks. And God’s peace will keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. The peace that God gives is so great that we cannot understand it.”

I was unable to constrain my joy any longer as it came violently bubbling up in my chest – that same Brayan whom we loved as a son, who left our care only to wander aimlessly during many months, who has since returned wholeheartedly to Christ, to us, is now leading other lost young men on the Way! I let out a silly whoop in the darkness and engaged our prodigal son in that growing inside joke we have about being full of joy: “Brayan, be full of joy! Always be full of joy in the Lord!”

My infectious giggles rose high as he suddenly stopped reading, obviously caught off guard by my interruption from the other side of the wall. He paused just long enough to let out a good-natured scold that undoubtedly came through a big, cheesy grin: “Ma, now I don’t want to hear a lot of ruckus tonight. Behave yourself.”

Amen! Glory to God!