Category Archives: Personal Reflection

That’s Why We Don’t Have Television.

Recently we had a very special visit from a dear friend of mine and her husband, Ben and Kailin Craft. Our friendship dates back to the playground in first grade, and although we have not been close since middle school, the Lord has brought us back together during this season to encourage one another along His Way.

At our home we don’t typically receive many visitors, but when we do it is always a blessing to see how everyone gets involved to prep the guest room, decorate big posters, put together flower arrangements, and pray for those on their way to visit us. Below are several photos that were taken during their stay…

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Me: “No! I don’t want to take family photos right now – we just came back from the river and we’re all sweaty and dirty! I need a shower, and Josue’s not wearing a shirt!”

Kailin: “But this is real life!”

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“Kailin, have you already given your life to Christ?” – Jackeline, age 11

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“So if Kailin and Ben are leaving tomorrow, I guess that means you weren’t able to convince them to stay.” – Gleny, age 10

Me: “Not yet, but we’ll keep praying.”

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“I’m not ready to get married – I mean, I don’t even know how to wash the clothes!” – Jackeline, age 11

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“Ben’s mom has a pet bird.”

The kids: “That’s so cruel. Birds should be free.”

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 Jackeline, age 11: “Why can’t you two just stay here forever?”

Kailin, “Well, we have a home and jobs to return to.”

Jackeline: “You have a home and jobs?!”

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 Kailin: “Jason, if you move the tadpole to a different part of the river, don’t you think he’ll miss his family?”

Jason, age 7: “No. At this age they can still move houses.”

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Jackeline, age 11, to Kailin and Ben, who were preparing dinner: “Can you also make a salad?”

Kailin and Ben: “Well, I think with the pasta we have enough food for everyone.”

Jackeline: “Yeah, but it has chemicals.”

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Ben: “Josue [the 6-year-old special needs boy] is the great teacher at the Living Waters Ranch.”

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Kailin: “Good thing the kids don’t know that Ben is a chemical engineer, or they would get really upset [because Darwin has trained the kids to be big on organic farming].”

Me: “They just think he’s a regular engineer.”

Ben: “There’s no such thing.”

Me: “For us there is.”

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The kids: “What did you and our mom do when you were little?”

Kailin, “Well, your mom was crazy…”

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Ben: “I think it’s pretty cool that these kids are astounded when they hear that they were created by God and that he intends for us to be His light in this world, because in America we’ve heard it so many times that we oftentimes forget or lose the true meaning.”

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 Darwin: “The marriage relationship between man and woman is exquisite and precious, and that is the relationship God desires with each one of us.”

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 Kailin: “Ok, kids! We’re going to play a new game: lay down, and whoever falls asleep first, wins!”

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[Looking out at the kids as they put on a broom-balancing, bow-and-arrow-shooting circus show in our front yard after lunch one day]: “That’s why we don’t have television.”

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(Juggling eggs)

Me: “Now we don’t have to buy cheese or milk because our cow gave birth and Darwin milks her every morning at 4:00am.”

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Me: “Ok, to start basketball practice you will do 53 laps up and down the stairs…”

The girls: “What?!

Me: “…Minus 48. Go!”

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Gleny, age 10, exasperated as she hops into our truck after school, “Ugh, Mom, the kids in my class make me so mad!”

Me: “Uh-oh. What happened?”

Gleny: “They all love money! They’re like ‘Oh, when I’m big I want to make a lot of money and buy all this nice stuff’ and I told them, ‘It’s not about the money!’ and they just kept talking about how they want a big house and stuff, and I said, ‘What about God?! He’s the one who provides!’

Me, laughing as my heart swelled with gratitude toward God for the character He is forming within this little woman: “Oh, the voice of justice crying out in the fourth grade classroom…”

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Look Inside.

The week after I presented my students with the writing prompt about problems in our world that make them mad, I caught them all flat-footed by flipping the question.

With my back to my students, I began to scribble excitedly with large letters on the white board at the front of our furnitureless classroom:

What are some problems (sins) inside of you that make you mad? Why? 

Then I stepped away from the board, revealing the day’s writing prompt. Several of the kids immediately had pressing questions and doubts, as if their minds just couldn’t wrap around what I was asking of them. I laughed — we humans! — and began to explain in greater detail the fact that whatever evil exists in the world — all of the liars, the kids who bully, the people who ignore the poor, those who wage war — also exists within each one of us.

“Last week as I read and re-read your journal entries, many of you went on tirades against your classmates who make fun of you. And you? Have you ever made fun of others?” I looked out at about a dozen blank faces while one or two of the more mature students laughed along with me, already understanding where I was leading them.

“You said that one of the problems in our world is that people lie. Do you lie, or is it just everyone else?” I swept my eyes across the semi-circle of students before me, surprised by the fact that their fixed expression of utter confusion remained painted on their faces, so I continued.

“You angels! Ok, well maybe we don’t need to touch this topic, because it seems like it’s just everyone else out there who lies, steals, and commits sins.” Some of the students actually looked relieved, misunderstanding my good-humored sarcasm and thinking that I really was going to cancel the writing assignment.

After explaining a few more times and in several different ways that the writing prompt actually wasn’t impossible or some kind of trick question, they finally settled down and spread out all across the tile floor of our quiet upstairs room where we meet every Friday. I turned up the volume on the classical music playing from the little red CD player I brought in my teaching suitcase from home and began weaving in and around the students as they wrote, some sprawled out on their bellies to write, others sitting up comfortably against one of the walls, all munching on little candies that I deposited one-by-one on the open surface of their notebooks as the wrote.

Later that afternoon as class came to a close with rounds of chess and logic puzzles, I carried my (extremely) heavy black teaching suitcase downstairs and excitedly took out the kids’ journals, eager to see how they had responded to the prompt.

No! No. No. No. He didn’t understand. I closed the first notebook I had opened, disappointed that instead of recognizing his own sin, the student had continued his tirade about his mean classmates who bully him. It’s not about what they do. It’s about what you do. No! I thought. Maybe the next kid will understand.

I then opened the next brightly colored notebook in the large stack, quickly flipping past prior writing assignments to find today’s. My heart sunk upon reading the first sentence, and from there my eyes skimmed the rest of the page-and-a-half answer in frustration. How can we be so blind? This student, too, continued with their long list of complaints about all of the evil out there, basically repeating the same that she had written the week before about the problems in our world that make her mad.

I went through five or six journals with the same results, and my heart sank. We are so far from understanding who Christ is. We cannot accept His forgiveness until we can recognize that we need it. We are blind to our own hypocrisy, our own sin, even from childhood. Lord, help us to see.

I continued onward, almost frantically opening and closing the journals one after the other, hoping for at least one student who understood that the evil that is in the world roams in his own heart.

And then, with only a few journals remaining, I opened the journal of a new student in the program, a beautiful 10-year-old girl who rarely speaks and could be the poster child for good school behavior. My heart leapt as my eyes travelled across her answer:

“Sometimes I am a hypocrite, and sometimes I lie, and I almost always yell, and I’m mad. Sometimes I have bad feelings towards others, and I fight. Sometimes I make fun of others, and sometimes I play too rough. And sometimes I do not fulfill my promises.”

My lips let out an audible “Whoa!” in the empty school auditorium and I sat back against the wall, overcome with joy. If this little girl — who by all human standards seems ‘perfect’ — can recognize her own sin, none of us have any excuses! 

I continued onward, this time with renewed hope. I then proceeded with another new student’s notebook, a 9-year-old boy. His response:

“Some of my intimate problems that I have committed are that I have lied; I have committed a lot of errors and I accept it. But I know that Jesus Christ will give me strength…Sometimes I laugh at others and that is not correct…Today I was reading the Bible and there I found the Word of God and I understood that our errors can be forgiven by the Lord so that we have eternal life. I am a human being like everyone else, but if we want eternal life we have to follow the way of our Lord Jesus Christ. And I accept all of my problems…”

I let out a long, pure laugh — a sigh of relief in joyful form. Thank you, Father.

The following notebook, a 12-year-old girl:

“Well, I lie. I am not perfect — only God. But when I lie they are ‘white lies’ (so they say), but a lie is a lie, so I repent. Another problem is that I am resentful and it is difficult for me to forgive others. When someone bothers me, I become sad and I start to think of all the wrong they have done me and say, “What a bad person he/she is; I will never speak to him/her again,” but I always end up forgiving them and that is good because as I forgive them God will forgive me. Another thing is that I lose my patience quickly…As it says in the Bible (well, Jesus), you should not judge others if we, too, have sin in us (and it is much bigger than that of other people’s.)”

I then cradled in my palms the last of all the journals, and carefully opened it. The 14-year-old author of it contents wrote:

“One of the problems that makes me mad is…Lying: When I lie to other people. It makes me furious because it is not good. Sometimes I talk about the other people who lie, but I am another one…Rebellious teenagers: this is something that pains me a lot because when I was with my biological mom I always disrespected her and became very rebellious with her…Now I have nightmares about when I disrespected my biological mom and I cry because I did not take care of her when I was with her…Perfection: It makes me mad because immediately when I begin to focus on the perfection of my beauty I forget about God, and I am slapping Him in the face. It makes me very mad when I do this, because I have not wanted to focus so much on physical beauty. May God forgive me…”

 

1 John 1:8-10: “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.”

Go Tell Her That You Love Her.

A few days ago most everyone in our household got a haircut — including myself. I stood in front of the only big-enough mirror we have, which happens to be propped up in the bathroom of our schoolhouse. Gleny and Jason perched on the counter beside and behind me, eyes wide.

“I’ve gotta see this!” They were quite impressed that I was going to cut my own hair with nothing more that a pair of scissors and damp curly hair.

As I got near the end of the 5-minute job, I held out a few strands and offered them the scissors, indicating exactly where to cut. It was a fun time.

The following day was not so fun in regards to hair and things of the sort.

Gleny asked me for a certain three-ponytail braid-style hairdo that I do for her frequently, and after executing it well, she reached behind her head, felt how short her ponytail was after I had cut it the day before, and broke down in tears. Frustrated, I said, “Look, you asked me for this hairdo and I did it. If you didn’t want it, you shouldn’t have asked me.”

She threw herself in the hammock on our porch, and shut out the world for a long while, screaming, “I don’t wanna talk right now!” Then she got up, emphatically taking the pony tails out of her hair, and storming across our large front yard like a wild woman with an unruly bob haircut and mismatched clothes.

I watched her through the window as I continued working on some project on the wooden table in our living room. Bitterness creeped into my heart as I justifiably thought, How ungrateful. She better not go crying to Jenae and ask her to re-do the hairdo I just did. I have half a mind to go over there and chew her butt.

Go tell her that you love her.

What? God’s voice whispering through my tempestuous conscience. Yes, that would be very sweet, but she doesn’t deserve that. Maybe next time, when I’m not so bothered. Why is she crying anyway? Her hair looked fine!

Go tell her that you love her.

Now.

I paced, entering our small, cave-like bathroom, searching for some reasonable excuse not to obey what I couldn’t deny was a direct order from God to my hardened heart.

I couldn’t find an excuse, so my clenched-fist will surrendered itself, falling into the bent posture that it frequently fails to maintain.

I then walked directly over to Jenae’s porch a couple hundred yards away where Gleny sat, hair tragically disheveled, legs pulled up to her chest as the wooden rocking chair supported her in her despair.

When she realized I was coming for her and not just to swing by to greet Jenae inside, she sat up uncomfortably, looking at me as if I was about to chew her butt for her extravagant display of unnecessary emotions.

If only she knew.

I got real close — a little too close for a butt-chewing — squatted down so that we were eye-level, and rested my face on my long, crossed arms atop the rocking chair’s armrest. “Gleny? I love you.”

Ok, there, God. I did it. Now I can go.

But I didn’t go. Once you take that initial step of obedience, the next step and the next seem to make more sense.

I reached out and swept her crazy bangs from her sweaty forehead. “What happened, Gleny?”

She stopped crying and we started a genuine conversation that lasted several minutes until I took her hand in mine and we both decided to get up and take a walk.

Later that night after she got out of the shower she came to me and said, “Forgive me, Mom, for complaining today and having a bad attitude.”

I smiled, by now fully in-tune with God’s will for my relationship with this little lion, and said, “Gleny, you’re allowed to be sad. You don’t have to ask forgiveness for that.”

Sometimes Quick, Sometimes Slow

Sometimes the Lord answers our prayers quickly, other times the answer comes after we have waited patiently for quite some time. I want to thank all of you who prayed for us yesterday and let you know that this time the Lord answered your prayers and ours quite quickly!

Yesterday there was a tropical storm passing through our region, so school and other activities were canceled and all eight of us (Darwin, the five kids who live with us, our neighbor-son Brayan, and I) were at home all day. Praise God for the tropical storm that forced all of us to slow down and spend an entire day together uninterrupted! The kids prepared an elaborate vegetable soup for lunch, Darwin and I danced in the living room, we spent time working through the events of the last few weeks with one another and in prayer, a lot of hugs and loving words were exchanged, and there was a riotous tickle-fight after lunch that led Darwin laughing and screaming around our large yard as many little people chased him.

As for 7-year-old Jason, after praying for him while he slept the night before last, yesterday he woke up with an entirely different attitude. He spent the morning and afternoon in his room (part of his consequence for his poor behavior in school), and he re-did the various pages of homework that he had previously torn up, and got ahead on a couple other assignments. He surprised us all with his newfound work ethic and joy, and we pray that it continues.

The three girls and I scheduled a long overdue “women’s meeting” in the afternoon, which consisted in us sitting on the freshly-swept floor in Mom and Dad’s Bedroom to give each person the opportunity to share frustrations, joys, problems, etc, in a safe, open environment. At first no one wanted to share anything, so we began with prayer and a Bible reading, and from there a lot of things came to light — hidden bitternesses, jealousies, honest tears, sincere compliments, worries, feelings of sisterly love and more. A true women’s meeting indeed! I feel that this first intentional encounter we had yesterday was a huge leap in the right direction, and we are planning on holding similar meetings every so often to get everything out on the table and speak the truth to one another in love. At the end of our little group meeting there were about 183 prayer requests, so we joined hands, all sitting cross-legged on our tile floor, and presented ourselves to our Father. As the girls bounced out of our bedroom, there was a tangible lightness and freedom in them that beforehand could only be categorized as darkness, anger and unspoken sadness. They literally galloped out of our room after several group hugs, and they began doing crazy gymnastics on the porch, carrying one another on their shoulders and including little Josue in their wild games of joy. Yes!

On the legal front, I was able to make contact with my new lawyer yesterday, and she’s on the ball and already working on my case! She lives in the capital city of Tegucigalpa, so she has direct access to the government’s offices there and went yesterday to access my file. Please continue to pray for justice and efficiency in regards to my residency, and let us give thanks to God for this turn of events.

Last night after a dinner of peanut butter sandwiches, all eight of us piled on and around our small couch to watch a movie together, something we have not done, well, ever. During the movie we tickled one another’s feet, scratched so-and-so on the head, cuddled together, and rested in God’s love.

As the movie was getting ready to start and everyone hurried in and out of the bathroom to take turns showering, Diana — with a newfound freedom shining from her face — asked sincerely, “What do I call Brayan now that he doesn’t live with us anymore?” I answered, “He’s your brother in Christ and [a term that doesn’t translate directly in English but means ‘non-biological brother with whom you grew up’]”. With that all three of us smiled, content with the unusually large sense of family God has blessed us with.

So I don’t know if we are parents to five or parents to six, although I’m inclined to say six. I don’t know what struggles tomorrow — or even this afternoon — will bring. But I do know one thing: God is with us, and He hears us.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. His love endures forever. –Psalm 136:1

 

I Cannot Fill You.

Several nights ago — three nights after our 10-year-old fireball received two new siblings, to be exact – Gleny lay face-down in her top bunk with her face toward the wall, crying. I had seen her through the girls’ open door as I strode through the living room on some important expedition to sweep or fold laundry, so I snuck in and patted her on the back.

“Gleny, do you want to talk?”

She lifted her puffy face from her pink pillow case and spat her response in my direction: “But in private!”

I motioned with my hands for her to get up, so she pushed herself up and began to scoot lethargically toward the built-in ladder on her wooden bunkbed. I reached up and took her into my arms, her little legs wrapped around my waist and her face buried in my shoulder as I carried her to the room that is normally off-limits for the kids – Mom and Dad’s bedroom.

I sat her down beside me on our bed, and she leaned into me and began to weep harder than she had been when she was alone on her top bunk. I held her for a while before asking gently, “What happened? Is there something you want to tell me?”

Without lifting her head, she said in a one-word-runs-into-the-next type of way, “Today when we went shopping for clothes, you said that I couldn’t buy a dress because we were only shopping for Jackeline. After that I didn’t want to talk with you anymore, and that’s why I didn’t laugh very much.”

By God’s grace, I’ve got enough experience in 15 short months to already be a veteran with these types of situations. I responded, “I’m so sorry, Gleny. But you know what?”

For the first time during our whole conversation she lifted her head up, which I then placed in my hands. “I’m so proud of you that you could use your words to tell me what it is that’s bothering you. And I’m sorry that you feel so frustrated. It definitely wasn’t my intention to frustrate you.”

A glimmer of something sparked in her eyes before she folded back into my lap and continued weeping.

This little girl has a long record of screaming at adults in public, viciously telling Brayan – the other young man who moved into our family last February – to leave, making big scenes with emotional breakdowns when we have guests in the house, and allowing her mouth to get her in a whole lot of trouble, so this quiet, sincere moment reflected God’s gift of peace that He is steadily bestowing upon her stormy soul. I, too, felt like weeping, but for joy.

Without falling into the easy trap of trying to “fix” her sadness or explain her out of it, I opened my mouth and said what I felt God had given me to say: “Gleny? You know what?”

Once again, she lifted her head and allowed her eyes to bare into mine, calming down momentarily. “I cannot fill you, Gleny.”

With that she doubled over and began to sob, harder this time. I continued, knowing that she was listening. “Gleny, we could go on a ‘date’ everyday, and I could buy you 100 dresses and hug and kiss you all the time, but it still wouldn’t be enough. I cannot fill you. I’m just a person. I’m limited.”

“Gleny, only God can fill you. He is the only One who is limitless. I cannot be with you all the time, fulfill your every need. It’s impossible. But He can.” Carefully, without stating the obvious, the very thing that is probably screaming in her thoughts – that I have four other kids to care for in addition to her – I continued, “I have to spend time with Dad, too. I have to work. I have chores to do. I get tired, hungry. I’m just a person. I cannot fill you. I wish I could, but I can’t. You’ve got to look to God for that.” I felt like I was addressing not only her but also myself, for I, too, oftentimes look to other people or external situations to fill me. Oh, how many times have I wrongly become sulky and frustrated with my husband for not being able to ‘fill’ me!

A few moments later I asked, “Is there anything else you want to tell me?”

She immediately responded, “No. That’s all,” and I knew she meant it. She sat up, calming down as she looked around our small, comfy room with chipped blue paint on the walls.

Then I picked her back up, carrying her out in similar fashion as she had entered, but this time with more understanding between the two of us. I entered her room, passing by her two older sisters who sat at their wooden desk, working on a puzzle together. I glanced down at them, exchanging knowing smiles, and deposited their little sister in her top bunk to rest.

Less than an hour later we all sat around our long wooden table in the kitchen after dinner, Darwin and I laughing as we watched Jason, Josue and Gleny stage an intense battle with the long pieces of Styrofoam that had come in the box with our new fridge the day before. Gleny led the troops valiantly as Jason hunted wild animals with his Styrofoam bow and arrow to feed his family.

I felt joy surge in my chest, in awe of just how literally He does fill us, has filled me. More than once Gleny took her eyes off her imaginative play with her little brothers to look over at me and smile, and I felt like she and I understood something perhaps for the first time: He definitely does use us to meet one another’s needs, but we’re only the tools. It’s not about me, and it’s not about her. It’s about God’s glory working in and through us, filling us.

Fool!

I weaved in and around the kids in my Gifted and Talented program as they sat on the school’s tile floor in our quiet upstairs room where we meet every Friday, each one answering in their notebook the day’s free-writing question.

“Jesus says that if we pay attention to His teachings and put them into practice, we are wise. But He says that if we hear the teachings and do not put them into practice, we are fools. The only difference between being wise and being a fool is putting it into practice. “ Suddenly, without planning on it, I blurted out, “So many times I am a fool!”

One fourth-grade boy who is new to the program snapped his attention from his notebook up to me, eyes unusually wide, probably thinking Is the teacher really calling herself a fool?

I look down at him with a wide grin and said emphatically, “Yeah!” as if to answer his unspoken question. “Jesus says ‘Do not worry’, and yet so many times there I am, worrying about something. In those moments I’m a fool! I know very well what His teaching says, but I fail to put it into practice!” The realization of just how foolish I tend to be hit me rather unexpectedly as I stepped carefully over the legs of another student sprawled out on his stomach, elbows propping him up as he wrote with a wooden pencil in his bright yellow notebook.

“He says to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us, but so many times I don’t. What a fool I can be! Knowing God’s word is not good enough – you have to put it into practice or you’re just another fool!”

Today’s prompt for the allotted free-writing time was: Jesus says that we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us. What do you think of that? Do you have enemies or people that persecute you, make fun of you, or treat you poorly? How can you put into practice Jesus’ words to love your enemies?

By now I was on my soap box, talking more to my own foolish soul than any young student in particular. I walked around the extremely quiet room, bare of furniture except for an oversized dry-erase board at the front filled chaotically with the day’s schedule, different thoughts, arrows, and writing prompts. “There are a ton of people out there who know the entire bible, but don’t put anything into practice. Fools! You can go to church everyday and know every last detail about Christ, but if you don’t put it into practice, it’d be better to just stay at home and watch television.” A sixth-grade girl whom I have known for three years and attended my wedding made eye contact with me and we both laughed.

I continued my excited speech, propelled onward after remembering the saddening journal entry of a smart young girl in the program. The prior week as I sat on the school’s playground after school revising her journal entry about the injustice in the world that makes her mad, she went on a long written tirade against idolatry, writing about how outrageous it is that so many people do things against God, sprinkling her writing with various distinctly biblical terms. Unfortunately, while reading her entry, I overheard her at a nearby table ferociously back-stabbing a classmate of hers. Poor fool.

“I don’t care if you can quote the bible – good for you! Do you actually live it? It’s not enough to ‘know’ that Jesus said ‘Love your enemies’ unless you actually do it, so think about if you have enemies. Is your dad a drunkard? Did your mom abandon you? Do the kids in your class bully you? Do you have a neighbor who mistreats you? How can you love that person, or at least pray for them? Write!”

The children continued in a joyful silence as they filled a couple more pages in their journals, the contents of which I would read and re-read during the coming week, enthusiastically marking them up with ideas, comments, and Bible verses to help guide them along.

You may think I know Jesus said not to kill or steal, and I’ve definitely put that into practice. I’m a good person. But, do you lust? Do I love money? Do we become anxious about what will happen tomorrow or in 16 years? Is there anyone you have yet to forgive? Do I love my own life more than I love Christ? Who have you judged? How many times have we been disobedient to the Living God for love of our own twisted egos? Do you rush to help when you see someone in need? Is my gaze fixed more on this current world than the one to come?

According to Jesus, the only difference between being wise and being a fool is whether or not you put into practice what you know of God’s word.

 

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock…But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand.” – Matthew 7:24,26

One Body

At 7:34pm last night the kids came bursting into the living room with a wave of energy that I felt like might push me right over the edge after having finished with dinner clean-up, and suddenly there were five heads in the open doorway with 654 comments and questions for me about who-knows-what. I sat on my bedroom floor under a more-organized-than-it-looks pile of legal documents, folders, reports and photocopies fanning out all around me under the thin light of the headlamp strapped to my head as I stapled, stamped, signed, and organized.

I looked up suddenly at the eager faces before me, unintentionally blaring them in the eyes with the light from my headlamp. The lights had been out all evening, and we had all been squinting in the darkness and shuffling around carefully, sharing the few flashlights we have.

Darwin soon appeared as well, and I reluctantly put aside my half-finished job, carefully pushing the precarious pile out of the way at the foot of our double-sized bed so that we could all meet around the wooden table in our living room and hold the family meeting that Darwin and I had planned with the kids.

With a single red candle placed on the table, mostly spent with drippy wet wax pooling around its base, all seven of us sat/stood around the table to try to figure a lot of things out. Together.

I stood in the same clothes I had put on that morning at 5:00am, talking more than I should, the light of my headlamp helping the little red candle light our corner of the living room. Jason had forgotten to feed the dogs that day. Little Josue had gotten ahold of the jewelry-making supplies and scattered all the beads, twine, etc all about after someone else had carelessly left it out on the living room couch. I had lost my patience with Josue during the bedtime routine when he dumped the entire bucket of Legos on the floor for the second day in a row. Gleny, Jason and Jackeline had staged an apocalyptic nightmare for me as I parked the car in our yard after having been gone for a few hours, greeting me with a barrage of highly exaggerated comments and problems that I had to fix immediately. Our car had logged several miles that day and another tank of gas after chauffeurring Gleny and Jason to and from their new school and Diana to and from her new art school. I had forgotton to buy more Pampers for Josue. Diana felt fed up with having two little sisters who want to copy everything she does.

What started with frustrations and complaints ended with asking forgiveness and granting it. Then we all stood, joining our hands to form one body, and we gave thanks to God. We reminded ourselves that God’s Word says that we must place all of our worries, our stress, in God’s hands because He cares for us. And it is our task to believe Him and do so. At the close of the prayer, I wearily — and without any real expectation — asked the children to pray for me in their free time if they feel led to do so. My insomnia has been creeping back, and for the past four or five weeks I’ve only been able to sleep about three to four hours per night. Darwin and I then took each child individually into our embrace and reminded them how much we love them.

This morning at 6:23am, teeth brushed, uniforms in place and ready for a new day, Gleny asked from the backseat of our cab-and-a-half truck while we drove down the highway, “Mom, how did you sleep last night?” I smiled at her very thoughtful question, and answered sincerely, “Actually, last night I slept the entire night for the first time in a long time. I think I got almost seven hours of sleep!” As I continued driving, peering through the heavy rain beating down on the windowsheild, she answered from directly behind me, “All three of us girls prayed for you last night,” and I felt my heart sink into my chest, heavy with joy. Then Diana, her elder sister by blood, chimed in, “Yeah. In our room we have a new system with Jackeline of taking turns each night to pray for you so that you are able to sleep.”

And with that the Lord granted me a deeper sense of rest than anything a good night’s sleep can provide. He is knitting us, as different as we are and as uncomfortable and demanding as the process can be, into one body. His body.

Who Pooped in the Burger King Playground?

My new six-year-old son did. Poop in the Burger King playground, that is. We were on Day Three of our parents-to-five-children adventure, and after going to a couple used clothing shops for our two newest arrivals I took the kids to a special treat that we´ve only done one other time — lunch at Burger King and time to play in the big playground inside.

Darwin was on a ´date´ with our eldest daughter that day, so I was with the four youngest ones and everything was going along perfectly. I sat in the playground room, distracted from reading my book as various little people continually stuck their heads out of the big play structure calling my name to look and wave.

And then something strange happened. Jackeline, our new eleven-year-old daughter, came over to me and said plainly, ¨Josue pooped in his pants.¨ I was sort of dumb-struck and could only think to ask, ¨Does this happen frequently?¨ Her response: yes.

I put on my metaphorical ¨momma¨ pants and said, ¨Ok, I´ll take care of this. You just keep playing. Have fun!¨ and then looked down and his big grin and smelly pants and asked myself, ¨What now?¨

The only logical solution seemed to be to walk him to the women´s bathroom (he´s a bit too burly to carry) and try to clean him up in one of the really small stalls. I did so, leaving a sporadic trail of smeary poo from the playplace to the bathroom as the poop continued to drip down his pantsleg and onto the shiny tile floor. Not to mention the little pile of wet poo he left on the site of the crime within the playplace, which I didn´t notice until returning with him from the bathroom.

So anyways, him and I squeeze into one of the two stalls in the women´s bathroom, and after stripping him of his clothes I sit him on the toilet because there was hardly enough room for one person, let along two, to stand. Seeing as his legs were smeared with poop, the act of sitting him on the toilet then transfered — or maybe even multiplied, who knows — a large quantity of the sticky substance onto the priorly squeaky-clean toilet seat. Poop was everywhere!

The whole experience seemed quite surreal, like I was watching in on someone else´s life without getting stressed or grossed out (or vomiting), and I realized in that moment the reality of the ¨unexplainable peace¨ that is available to us through Jesus Christ. I began to laugh out loud in that little Burger King bathroom stall, uncontrollably joyful as I said out loud various times to no one in particular, ¨God is enough! God is sufficient!¨

So many times we think we need God plus something else to make us happy. Maybe God plus our days off or God plus a comfortable income or God plus kids who behave well and don´t poop in the Burger King playground. I realized in that moment that God alone — Who He is, His promises to us, His justice, love and mercy — is all that we need. He is enough. Add or subtract anything else — displeasing circumstances, a restful vacation, a bad night´s sleep, a great relationship — and nothing truly changes. If we cannot find contentment in God through Christ, we cannot find it in anything else.

So there I stood, hunched over the poopy little boy in the Burger King bathroom, laughing like a mom who has done delirious, and declaring for all other bathroom patrons to hear, ¨God is sufficient! He is enough!¨ I think for the first time I actually understood how to be patient — serenely so — in a truly sticky situation, to rest in God´s grace rather than in my own power or agreeable circumstances.

Then a long and somewhat clumsy series of events led us to the car to get out the new clothes we had just bought for him, return to the bathroom, and then walk hand-in-hand back through the restaurant towards the play area as several customers commented out loud on how bad the restaurant smelled. I think all of the restaurant´s janitors were called to the scene, because we passed by more than a couple moppers and disinfecters hard at work to recover the glistening floor that my beautiful son had spoiled. I had to hold in a giggle and resisted the temptation to laugh out loud and say, ¨It was us! My son is the one who pooped on your floor! But God is sufficient!¨

When we got home that evening, Darwin and I were talking and I told him, ¨I bought this little backpack for Josue, because from now on whenever we go out with him we are going to need to take an extra pair of clothes, because anything can happen.¨ He looked at me somewhat confused and I laughed, saying, ¨It´s a long story. But God is enough.¨

 

Little Legs with Too-Huge Pants

Yesterday our three kids and I held hands in our front yard, eyes closed, hearts racing, whispering one last prayer as Darwin opened the gate for the old navy blue pick-up truck whose misterious contents held untold joys, frustrations, triumphs and heartbreak that would unfold in the coming months and years.

We would be parents not to three but now to five.

I waved excitedly and smiled although my weary cheek muscles shook slightly after an adrenaline-laced few days of preparation, prayer, and nerves.

Then the pick-up came to a stop, and I knew that a new beginning had arrived. The back door on the double-cab eeked open, and some little legs with too-huge pants began reaching for the ground far below.

Josue, six years old.

Special needs.

His older sister, Jackeline, eleven years old but already on the cusp of puberty, was quick to exit behind him. Her maturity and undeterred joy remind me so much of the other young woman who arrived at our home in similar fashion 15 months ago and has since become like a daughter to us.

In these situations, you never know what to say. Or at least I don´t. Thanks be to God, our three kids were genuinely emotionally prepared and excited to meet them, so we all swooped in for the big welcome.

Josue screamed, fearing the extremely friendly dogs who likewise came to greet him.

From there the afternoon and evening were a joyful yet on-edge (and least for me) blur of touring the kids around their new home, hanging up the wet dirty laundry they brought with them, assuring Josue over and over again that the dogs are our friends, talking with the case-worker and signing paperwork, and breathing deeply as we began to learn all over again what it means to be a family.

I think I was waiting for some kind of explosion or tear-filled breakdown (probably from our 10-year-old Gleny who will have to adjust to now having two older sisters), but it never came. Instead late in the evening I passed through our living room to see Gleny playing ¨Doctor¨ with Josue. He doesn´t talk and walks with a limp, but Gleny had enthusiastically set up an entire scene in our living room with feather boas, little plastic chairs, a toy kitchen set, more stuffed animals than I could count, and a very large doll that was receiving urgent medical attention with ¨Doctor Josue¨ for her fever. And Gleny was the patient´s mom, of course.

Last night was a sleepless night for Darwin and I, as much due to exceeding joy and thanksgiving to our Father as listening for the kids to get up or cry in the middle of their first night in a new place. Josue did indeed get up about 25 times, turned on the light after bedtime, slammed the door more than a couple times (always with a big, toothy grin), tried to climb the top bunk to be in Jason´s bed, tried to wear his shoes to sleep, and repeatedly put the stuffed animals in his mouth.

But all of that is to be expected, and by God´s grace I had an extra dose of love for this little boy with buck-teeth and clothes that aren´t the right size. It is through him that I believe God will teach me what it means to be patient and to love without expecting anything in return.

Pacing around our living room long after the kids´bedtime, I noticed the girls´light was still on, and as I approached the door to stick my head in and remind them to go to sleep, I stopped short as I heard a not-so-familiar voice — Jackeline´s — through tears sharing things of the heart with her two new roommates who doubtlessly understand her and have shared in her sufferings far more than I ever will. A smile spread through my chest as my heart offered up prayers of thanksgiving to our Father. It is no longer Darwin and I ministering to children, but the children themselves alongside of us and in the moments when we can´t be there who are ministering to and supporting one another in love.

Josue finally settled down after numerous Bible stories, songs, foot massages, and more than a few dozen trips to his room to tell him to return to his bed, and he finally stayed in his own bed the whole night without any more shenanigans. This morning he won the promised prize for his obedience, a juice box during breakfast.

And this is how it all starts.

 

Familial Anecdotes

Familial Anecdotes: Part One

“Our Eldest Daughter was Born When I Was 10 Years Old.”

That is what I told our new friend to make his eyes bulge out. Then Darwin and I laughed, looking at each other, and I said, “But she wasn’t born from my womb. It’s a long story.”

 

Familial Anecdotes: Part Two

“The Hypocrite Hat”

Several months ago I invented the “Hypocrite Hat” based on old TV programs where the naughty kid in school has to wear the cone-shaped dunce hat. Ours is made out of brightly colored construction paper and straps onto the perpetrator’s head with a wild series of pipecleaners, looking sort of like a homemade birthday hat, except on the front it says in big bold letters “Hypocrite.” 10-year-old Gleny has donned the hat more than once for accusing someone of something that she herself is guilty of, and just this week we modified the hat to say “Disobedient” as a consecuence for some bad decisions Jason had made. Our plans changed the day he was scheduled to wear the hat and we ended up running a series of errands in town and in the mall (thus forcing him to wear the extremely embarrassing hat in public), and more than a few people laughed out loud at seeing Jason with his large colorful cone hat with its very noticeable chin and head-straps with the index card taped on the front that says “Disobedient.” Several of the store clercs gave him a talking-to about how he needed to be more obedient, and other moms exchanged smiles with me as the little guy and I walked hand-in-hand while I tried not to laugh out loud.

 

Familial Anecdotes: Part Three

“I Did Something New Today.”

That is what I said with a big smile when Darwin and the kids came to the kitchen for dinner the other night. Excited, they all asked what it was that I did. I said, “Oh, I rescued a bat from our kitchen sink. The poor little guy was really exhausted after having flied around the kitchen for several minutes, and he collapsed in the sink. I trapped him with a cup and set him free outside.”

 

Familial Anecdotes: Part Four

“I Think It’s Time to Get a Mirror for the Kids’ Bathroom.” 

One night over dinner Darwin, the kids, and I were all telling stories of how we lost different baby teeth when suddenly 7-year-old Jason starts laughing wildly, saying how Gleny’s two front teeth, which are adult teeth, look really big. He then started saying how it is funny how people’s two front teeth look big when I realized He really has no idea that his two front teeth are just as big as everyone else’s. I think it’s time to get a mirror for the kids’ bathroom. Pointing out others’ flaws while being blinded to our own – that doesn’t sound at all like human nature, now, does it?

A Child’s Deepest Desire

Our middle daughter, 10-year-old Gleny, can be quite a drama queen at times. But this time I immediately knew the few tears welling up in her eyes as she sat on the floor were a display of raw honesty.

Caught off guard by her sudden wave of strong emotions, I squatted down so that we were eye-level. I had been sweeping the living room as she told me a story she had just heard on the radio about a young boy whose parents bought him toys and provided all of his material needs but failed to meet the boy’s deepest desire, which was his parents’ time and affection. The little boy felt alone and depressed, even though on the outside he lacked nothing.

Sensing the story had come to a close, I asked gently, “And this really touches your heart?”

Her stare intensified as she responded, “Yes. That is what our biological mom always did. She would come and go, and every night when she would leave, we would beg her to stay and spend time with us, but she never did. That’s all we ever wanted from her.” A couple tears spilled over and began rolling down her cheeks.

This little girl, who could have had tears cascading over her heart because her biological parents never put her in school or because they could not afford to buy her a new pair of shoes or because their shack had a dirt floor, chose rather to lament the fact that her parents never spent time with her. Such a simple thing, something any parent can do whether they have money or not, whether they live in a crowded inner-city, in the suburbs or on an isolated piece of land somewhere in the countryside.

Even though in our family much of each day is centered around the children the Lord has placed under our care, even we get distracted with “doing” rather than “loving.” I oftentimes mistake running a thoughtful errand for my daughter to pick up something from the arts and crafts store with sitting down and actually doing the craft with her. Putting a movie on for the kids is not the same as snuggling on the couch to watch it with them under a mountain of blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals. A lot of times when they ask me to participate in a riotous match of hide-and-seek with them, I selfishly say no. Sometimes I would rather clean toilets in peace than participate in the demanding mental gymnastics required for a creative role-playing game involving imaginary waterfalls in our living room, rescue expeditions with toy trucks, and trips to the hospital with Lego men. Sometimes when our little guy asks me to sing him to sleep, I do so with an unwilling spirit, wanting to rush through the nightly ritual and close another busy day so I can go rest.

Some of the most memorable times we have had as a family have been when we have said, “Yes, there is a legal report half-done on the computer, and, yes, there is such-and-such financial concern and that pending phone call and a list a mile long of things demanding our attention, but let’s put that aside for right now and celebrate the fact that the Lord has meshed us together as a family.”

Mom, Dad: turn off the television and go give your little guy a foot massage. Delay your errands for another day and play a board game with your daughter. Listen to her. Give each one a hug every morning as everyone groggily shuffles out of their bedrooms a 6:00am. Ask your child what their favorite book is and take time to read it to them, giving each character a distinct, silly accent. Look at family photo albums together, laughing and reminiscing with your kids about when they (and you) were younger. From time to time go into your child’s room to put them to bed, reading the Bible and singing with them even if you’re dog tired. Paint your toenails with your teenage daughter, and dare to let her pick the color. The next time your kids invite you to jump in the swimming pool, actually do it. Even though there is the belief that kids (and especially teenagers) don’t want “family time” and think their parents aren’t cool, it isn’t true. It’s their deepest desire.

You Can´t Climb on the Hippo Pen.

monkeybars2 monkeybars4

In celebration of the completion of the year 2014, we roadtripped as a family to Honduras’ biggest and perhaps only real zoo four hours from our home. We rented a cabin and spent two days learning about the animals in the zoo, spelunking a maze-like cave with our headlamps, playing on the jungle-gym, racing go-karts and exploring the countryside. Every aspect of the trip introduced something new to the kids, and it was fantastic to see their eyes wide and their minds expanding as they took in new sights, sounds, and experiences. It was the perfect ending to a year laden with God´s perfect grace amidst trying difficulties and deep joy.

 

  “Brayan scared me in the cave. I prefer to go with an adult.” – Jason

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 “What’s the purpose of a rainbow?” – Brayan

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“Ostriches are that big?!” – Diana

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“The lions are beautiful, but it makes me sad to see they have so little space.” – Diana

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“What’s a miner?” – Gleny

“I think I’m going to vomit – pull the car over!” – Jason

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¨The zoo manager told me you’re not allowed to pull any feathers off the peacock.” – Diana

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“Seeing such majestic animals without freedom makes me think how we, too, cage ourselves when we don´t choose the freedom available to us in a relationship with God through Christ. God created animals to be free, and when they’re not, they suffer. We, too, were created for freedom, and when we choose the enslavement of sin, we, too, suffer. The only difference is that the animals don’t choose their captivity, but we do. Does that make sense?” – Jennifer

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“It says here that the Guinea Birds mate for life – just like us!” – Jennifer to Darwin

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“Do they hire teenagers to work at the zoo?”—Brayan

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“What does ‘nocturnal’ mean?” – Jason

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“This trip is a dream come true for me.” – Diana

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“Why are there multiple lanes on the highway?” – Diana

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“We should give thanks to God for keeping us safe during the trip.” – Gleny

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“I’m locked in the bathroom! Help!” – Jason

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“Dad, catch me if you can!” – Gleny

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“What are some things that have happened this year that you will remember forever?” – Darwin

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“For me, the most memorable thing about this year was meeting this family.” – Brayan

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“Everything in the whole world is a mystery and a miracle. Everything reveals God.” – Jennifer

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“A sloth is so different from a tiger from a hippopotamous, and yet God created them all. Just like us, each one so very unique. What amazing creativity.” – Jennifer

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“We’re like meerkats in this deep cave.” – Jennifer

“We took pictures of the paintings on the walls in our cabin so we can learn how to paint them in paint class.” – The girls

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“How do they feed the tigers?” – Jason

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“The Indians hunted the buffalo because they didn’t have a supermarket.” – Jason

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[Making wild animals noises to wake the kids up at 6:30am] “If you want to go to the zoo today, get up immediately because we’re leaving in five minutes!” – Darwin

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“How do they trap the zoo animals?” – The boys

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“Jason, get down. They said you can’t climb on the hippo pen.” – Darwin

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“Dad helped me count my money to buy the stuffed giraffe.” – Jason

“What’s a fetus?” – Jason

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“Gleny, are you sure you want to criticize Diana for not having her hair neatly done? How do you feel when others criticize you for your wild hair?” – Jennifer

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“It’s a shame that just a few years ago on my parents’ property you could see wild monkeys, sloths, and tapirs, but since they have been hunted mercilessly now you have to go to a zoo to see them.” – Darwin

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“Don’t touch the monkey.” – Jennifer

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2014 in Review (An Unorganized List of 64 Small Miracles)

Yesterday afternoon as the kids were in paint class and Darwin was resting in our room after a very busy week, I took a walk around our property, studying the visible differences of what this past year has brought –our faithful garden with its new sprouts of radish and squash that Darwin and the kids planted, the ducks who now inhabit our chicken run, our school building finally organized, certain rooms freshly painted – and caught off guard with a deep awe of all God has done in this past year that isn’t so visible – the emotional growth and health of the children, my own healing from severe insomnia, new relationships formed, prayers answered. After the dogs happily followed me around our yard, tails in a constant lazy wag as I admired all God has done this year, I sat down at the wooden table in our living room to make a list of all I could think of that He has orchestrated, permitted, given and guided in this past year. I started with a single sheet of notebook paper but soon had to bring a second and then a third sheet. The list, without any order or importance, is as follows…

2014-2

1. Many local boys have received haircuts in our home, and in the process I’ve gotten pretty good at doing the mohawk.

2. Due to God’s abundant provision, we have been able to joyously be His “middle-men” in sharing clothes, backpacks, food, and other goods with our neighbors for His glory.

3. Darwin, the children and I attended a week-long intensive missions course with our faith community to prepare us for a mission trip that we are planning for January 2015 to a village in southern Honduras.

4. We survived several robberies, difficulties, and encounters with corrupt people (including a very dangerous fraud).

5. After much deliberation, we finally purchased a gun for security purposes (and had to use it shoot-in-the-air-style-to-scare-the-burglar the day after we learned how to use it!)

6. The message of Christ has been shared in local churches, on public buses, in a school, at a used clothing shop, in Darwin’s sister’s home, and in various other places as God presents opportunities.

7. We have developed a very friendly relationship with our elderly neighbor who has a large herd of milking cows, and our large grassy property has been utilized to feed his grazers several times per week.

2014-16

8. We said “yes” and actively followed four different leads in order to receive more children into our family, but none of them produced results, so we continue to wait for God’s timing.

9. Darwin and I have been able to dedicate ourselves to God’s purposes in our home/family/farm/mission six days per week (we each spend one day per week as teachers at a local school).

10. Relationships have been formed with Brayan, his stepmother and three stepbrothers.

11. By God’s grace He enabled us to have kids in our home for the duration of the calendar year.

12. Peace has been poured out over our home and in the children’s hearts after months of very intense emotional waves, spiritual battles, disciplinary struggles and outbursts of all types.

13. Our living room, the kids’ bathroom, and the schoolroom were painted.

2014-11        2014-12

14. The four kids received homeschool classes along with private academic tutoring.

15. Many, many mistakes have been made and learned from.

16. The four kids received therapy with a Christian psychologist for several months.

17. Our used truck was purchased (and Darwin got his driver’s license for the first time!)

2014-518. High-security steel doors have been installed on the two houses and school building.

19. We have instituted the (very small and indescript) whiteboard in our living room where I write the next day’s schedule in great detail each night so that I don’t have to answer 84 questions about what we’re going to do tomorrow.

20. Four dogs have been purchased/adopted for security purposes (and therapy with the kids!)

2014-721. Two batches of chicks were born in our chicken run and hundreds of eggs laid.

22. Twelve ducks were purchased to lay eggs in our chicken run.

23. We enjoyed the visit of eight fellow believers in our home for several days in July.

24. Fifty rhambutan saplings have been planted.

25. Darwin and the kids have maintained a small garden behind our kitchen weekly.

2014-8 2014-9

26. Darwin and our accountant organized and submitted the last four years of financial statements.

27. Many, many hours have been spent on the preparation of legal documents, in meetings with the board of directors and with lawyers, and making trips to and from different offices.

28. A daily system of cleaning/chores has been put into practice for the kids and adults.

2014-15

29. Hundreds of man-hours have been spent preparing the land and cultivating small gardens without extremely little success due to infertile, rocky soil and long dry spells.

30. We’ve enjoyed a full year of growth and relationship with our dear sister Jenae Matikke, who lives alongside of us, raises the kids with us and serves in our local community.

31. A large steel trashcan has been constructed behind our property to deposit our trash.

2014-10

32. We’ve been able to continue developing and deepening our relationship with our faith community and mentors, visiting their home weekly.

33. We’re at three months and counting of the children taking a high-quality B-complex vitamin daily to help with their overall growth and mental activity –  (and it’s working!)

34. Our kids have enjoyed one full year of weekly paint, music, agriculture and Bible classes.

35. Two public music concerts have been held in our home for our neighbors and friends.

36. Darwin has formed a youth choir as a way of reaching out to local kids and forming relationships with our neighbors.

37. Our little plants produced harvests of plantains, a rare fruit called guanabana that tastes like cotton candy and looks like a very squishy white pineapple, mango, yucca, lemon, radish, chili peppers, cucumber and papaya.

2014-14

38. Darwin and our eldest daughter, Diana, have begun taking weekly English classes.

39. Relationships and trust have been formed with local business owners.

40. We have begun teaching the kids biblically-based financial education to accompany their small incomes for household chores.

41. Various visitors have been received in our home, thus providing all of us with many opportunities to offer hospitality and learn from and love those who stay with us.

42. Our first long-distance family trip is planned for the last two days of this year to visit Honduras’ biggest and perhaps only zoo in a town several hours away.

43. The Living Waters Ranch’s mission statement has been written.

44. We’ve formed a weekly Bible study every Wednesday morning where we dedicate time to growing spiritually as a family/community and giving thanks.

45. Sexual education has been given to our kids/teenagers several times and in many different forms.

46. I’ve received ten months and counting of medical treatment for my insomnia, and the larger part of recovery has been achieved.

47. Our kids have learned how to swim and play chess.

48. God’s provision and protection have been with us daily.

49. After much trial and error and team brainstorming, we were able to make the decision of how to use each of the three “houses” on our property most efficiently.

50. The “School House”, the second of the three houses, has been furnished and put into use for homeschooling, music classes, and for receiving neighbor kids in the large living room that serves as a play room.

2014-3

51. The question of maintaining our (extremely large, rocky, and uneven) yard trim has been settled by hiring a local man to weedeat it once a month. (We used to have a full-time employee who dedicated the majority of his time to cutting our lawn bent-over with his machete, but he could only cut a piece the size of about two backyard swimming pools per day, and the job was never done and thus our yard always looked like someone with long, untamed hair who took a buzz-cutter to a few sections here and there, thus the poisonous snakes had a heyday.)

52. The office has been put together and Darwin constructed bookshelves for our library.

2014-13

53. Friendships have been formed with a handful of children and teenagers from our local community who come to our home to play soccer, work in agriculture, receive sex education classes, spend time in our playroom, and attend Bible study.

54. Our four kids gave their lives to Christ.

55. Darwin and I attended Honduras’ “Children’s Home Conference” in May to learn from others who serve in the same capacity.

56. We have begun developing relationships with various neighbors, visiting them in their homes and likewise opening our home to them.

57. Darwin and I celebrated our year-and-a-half anniversary December 24, 2014.

58. Darwin and I enjoyed three marriage retreats to escape from the kids for a few nights and focus on cultivating our still very-new marriage.

59. New telephone poles have been put up and electrical lights repaired.

60. We have sanded and painted the steel window bars on the houses, dining room and kitchen to save them from rusting.

61. We have achieved much better organizational structure and financial accounting as a registered Honduran NGO.

62. Official schedule, menu, and budget have been made for legal purposes.

63. Our eldest daughter has begun to sell her paintings.

64. God has cultivated a very pleasing attitude of love and respect in our children towards Himself and others.

Everything Starts With a Greeting

The other day after walking through our small rural neighborhood handing out invitations to our Christmas concert, the kids and I returned home in a “mototaxi,” which is a three-wheeled open-air taxi. In the small back seat we were all squeezed together one on top of the other — little Jason was sitting in my lap while Diana, Brayan, and Brayan’s stepbrother were squished on either side of us, almost hanging out of the vehicle due to limited space.

The road to our home is extremely rocky, so we all bumped along, bobbing up and down as the little mototaxi motored up the long pebble path through a fairly populated part of our neighborhood. I have developed the habit of greeting everyone I see, so there I went waving, expressing verbal greetings and smiling at everyone I saw on the narrow gravel road — women tending to small children on their porches, men bent over whacking the overgrown earth with their machetes, idle teenagers sitting on wooden benches.

The kids started to poke fun at me, saying how strange it was that I always greet everyone, especially because many times I don’t even know those whom I greet. I, too, began to laugh along with them without, of course, forgetting to wave to this elderly man and that little girl over there. Through our laughter I began to explain to the kids on my lap and at my sides that greeting one another — especially those whom we don’t even know — is actually a very direct command that Jesus left for His followers:

If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Mateo 5:46-47

We had discussed that passage with the children many times before until the children themselves even began greeting others from time to time, but that day as we all rumbled along in the mototaxi God revealed to me in a new way just how profound that commandment is and how He can utilize our faithfulness in greeting others for His glory.

Looking at Brayan on my left, the young man who lived with us for eight months and who continues to be like a son, I suddenly said, “Imagine, I greeted you for the first time almost a year ago, and in that moment neither one of us knew just how deeply God would develop our relationship.” His face developed a sudden smile, revealing small teeth, some of which are chipped or damaged from not having cared for them in his youth. I continued, expressing to him exactly what God was revealing to my heart: “But, look. I greeted you, didn’t I? Without that greeting we might never have met. Everything starts with a greeting.”

With that new depth of understanding, the comments and jokes faded away as a tangible joy, expressed in a rich sense of silence, settled over our bumpy journey home. Our thoughts visited the great wisdom of God with His perfect Word as I quietly gave thanks to God for having brought Brayan into our lives by something as simple as a greeting.

(To read the full story of how we first met Brayan, you can read “It All Started With a Cup of Water” at: https://hiddentreasuresinhonduras.wordpress.com/2014/02/25/it-all-started-with-a-cup-of-water/)

From Hatred to Love

Several weeks ago as a family we sat around a small bonfire in our yard under the starry sky wetting our bums a bit on the dewy soil beneath us. Each person was wrapped up in somewhat odd attire, brightly-colored scarfs and wool beanies with sweatshirts and tall socks, sweating in the humid night under the barriers we wore between the blood-thirsty mosquitos and our flesh.

The question for each of us to answer was: What is the biggest thing God has done in your life?

I do not remember the details of everyone’s answers, but our 10-year-old Gleny’s has stuck like a push pin in my mind ever since.

After her older sister, 14-year-old Diana, mentioned something about how God fulfilled her desire for a family and an opportunity to study music, I expected a similar answer from Gleny, as we all know that younger sisters can be pretty good at copying their older sisters.

Instead, as though the biggest thing God had done in her life was plainly obvious to her, Gleny said matter-of-factly, “I used to hate Brayan and now I love him.”

We all sat momentarily stunned with her response, caught off guard by her frankness and swept into awe at God’s work in her life at the realization that this was, in fact, one of the biggest works God had done in young Gleny’s roller-coaster heart. My eyes immediately swung across the flames to Brayan’s lit face and found a perfect tranquility that I had yet seen in this restless, insecure young man. He was neither offended nor surprised that she said she used to hate him (for we all knew it was plainly true) nor was he embarrassed that his name was called out in front of the group.

In the ensuing five or ten seconds of silence after little Gleny’s remark, I believe in each person’s heart we thought, “Yup, that’s about right.”

We had all witnessed her severe daily verbal attacks of this young man whom she struggled to accept into our household as a brother, the doors she slammed out of rage, and the unceasing hateful looks and comments hurled at the new guy who had pushed her down the totem pole. Through prayer, through tears, through one mediation session after another, our little lioness’ heart began to soften toward the awkward teenage boy who shared her Ma and Pa with her. After five or six of the most stressful months I have ever experienced with anyone, slowly the direct hateful comments began to slow down and then altogether cease. She stopped screaming at him, telling him to leave. She stopped seeking different ways to accuse, to make him fall. And then, one day, I heard her compliment him on a job well done when he was doubting his skills in paint class. I thought the comment must have been made sarcastically, in jest to make him hurt even more, but the sincerity in her voice could not be mistaken. And that was the turnaround.

And so, that night around our little bonfire of empty cereal boxes and twigs, Gleny’s blunt, unashamed answer helped remind us all that God is still in the business of changing lives. Is that not what God does in our world? Places the lonely in families, calls the lost into his kingdom, replaces our stubborn, hard hearts with tender, loving ones?

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26